Anything But Gray

Of course, we all love when someone dedicates a song to us.
Who doesnt'?

But you know what I love too?
when a song reminds someone of me….I freakin' LOVE that…..and I love when they TELL me this….so love it.

J...on this post….this song…… makes me so very happy. Love you J!

And I love this song!!

I just saw these pictures and man, I gotta tell you…to hell with what people think of it, I'm happy for Mariah Carey.

Every logical, grown up and sensible bone in my body is saying she's a freakin' absolute nut for doing this, along with everyone else on the planet.
But all the emotional and romantic bones in my body are saying
You go, girl!

cause you know what?
Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and go with what feels right and just go where your emotions are leading you. Because every once in awhile something wonderful happens during your moments of reckless abandon, the times where you just throw caution to the wind and just feel life….don't think about it or stress about it, but just feel it.

I got married at 20 years old and I was only with Zak for 15 months when we got married.
During the 6 months of wedding planning we got the "oh, you're so young" lecture, more than once.
Many people let their "logical and sensible" mind judge us and pass that judgment on to us…myself included.
I knew, if we made it, we'd be defying the odds and often times I would wonder if we really had it in us. That was my logical mind…my heart and my emotions never doubted us.

On the day of our wedding as the wedding march started and I stood beside my mother at the end of the aisle, ready to walk down to the altar and marry the man I loved, my logical mind panicked and I got really scared. I mean, really scared. I hesitated, every so slightly, when my mother started walking me down the aisle. She turned to me and asked…"Are you okay?" And I shook my head.."No…" I said. The logical side was telling me that "this is forever, you idiot…you're 20 years old, what are you doing? He lives in Alaska, for crying out loud!"  My logical side was telling me this and more….but my emotions took over and they told me "Go to him….marry this man and your heart will have a home for the rest of your life."

And I went with my emotional side….and almost 16 years later….I am not sorry.

Logical doesn't always mean right.
Emotional doesn't always mean wrong.
And even if you do follow your emotional side and you wind up being wrong?
Just call it emotional logic because chances are you learned something pretty damn important from the experience….
And how can that be wrong?

Yesterday I bought our plane tickets.

Zak and I were outside on the back porch and we were talking about the tickets and times and all that stuff.
He said something about how excited I'm going to be when I land.
And for a moment, I was overwhelmed.
I have spent so much time stressing about leaving here and leaving Ceci and my friends, that I haven't even thought of how I'm going to feel when I get there. How I'm going to feel when I step off the plane with my kids and walk out of the terminal to my sister waiting for me….
yeah….I know now why I haven't gone there.
It's too much. Even now, with things packed, tickets bought, truck rented…..I won't believe I'm really going home until I get on that plane in Seattle.

I haven wanted this for 17 years.
I have waited…sometimes patiently, sometimes not.
And I just can't believe it's really happening….

Almost every time I talked to someone back home, the first thing out of my mouth has been "Is it nice out, there?"
And most of the time they tell me, yup…sunny, warm…nice breeze, perfect day.

The weather is one of the biggest reasons why Zak and I want to move.
And I think I keep asking cause I'm frantically making sure that there IS, indeed, sunshine and warmth there. It's like I"m afraid cause I'm going to go there, it's going to turn into a rain forest. LOL
Seriously….living with sunshine and hot days seems like it's "too good to be true."

And honestly…I can't figure out if that's really sad that I feel that way or really cute.
<shrugging>
I dunno…what I do know is I can't wait to get to the sunshine!

Yeah, nice try….but I think this is what you would call too little, too late and just an attempt at not getting the crap sued out of them.

Apology

Someone in the comments said something along the lines of when they run this apology in every newspaper across the United States that ran a story regarding this story by the Herald, then I'll think about buying your paper again….

I'm thinking I'm in the same boat. In fact, I'll take it a step further and say they should make a commercial for an apology and air it during the first football game of the season and then again during the next Super Bowl. Just to make sure the apology reaches the same number of people the accusation reached. <rolling eyes> Talk about irresponsible, sensationalized journalism. It's disgusting and this apology just makes it all the more glaringly obvious.

And I have to say, it's sad because I was all sentimental about moving back home and getting to read The Boston Herald again.  Pfffttt……not anymore.

Love

• when my hands are messy from working on art projects, it makes me feel accomplished and creative.
• volunteering in Jaime's classroom and the kids she goes to school with.
• People laughing at my funnies…
• post it notes.
• getting a bunch of cards done and loving how they all came out. 
• when my son goes the whole day without throwing some kind of fit
• cool gps thingy….can't wait to get back east and use it.
• The Patriots
  

Loathe

• my stupid friggin' period. yeah, I said it. So?
• running out of vodka
• giving people the date of our departure…let the goodbye's begin.
• goodbye's
• my phone not working ALL OF MOTHER'S DAY.
• haters that will still hate, regardless of facts.
• judgmental people
• the fact the Juneau doesn't have the new People in with Mariah's wedding details, YET.

Unless you follow football, this post will not matter to you.

Today is the day that Matt Walsh finally meets with Roger Goodell.
I'm excited….it will be nice for our team to be "cleared."
But honestly, it won't matter what comes out of this meeting.
The haters will still hate. The haters will still call them cheaters.
It will not matter how much logic or how many facts are presented before people…..they will still be haters.
See…most of these people don't hate them because of "spygate", they hated them already and this just gave them a "good" reason to hate them.

But just in case anyone is genuinely interested in learning the facts about all of this, here is a cool site for you to check out.

The Facts

Even if the haters refuse to be swayed what is good about all this is at least we will have some facts to defend our team with.

As of right now, the fact that there was NO Ram walk-thru tape is huge. Walsh's lawyer is claiming Walsh never claimed to have any such tape and was not the source of the Boston Herald article on Super Bowl eve. (Boy, would I like to know who the hell was, then.)
Not that anyone will hear about that.
Gotta love the media….

It's 10pm and the kids are in bed.
It was a whirlwind of a weekend…

The best part?

I had hurt my foot on Thursday. By Saturday it was hurting pretty bad and Zak went to get me a brace because I had to pack. Kim and Danielle had the kids and they had them to help me out, so no way could I not pack. I put the brace on and I could function. It hurt but nothing I couldn't deal with. Later in the day it was getting worse and I decided to lay down. It had been hurting so much on Friday night that I didn't get much sleep. I laid down and fell right asleep but then like an hour later I woke up in excruciating pain. I literally could not put any weight whatsoever on my foot. We called Mike Race to see if he had some crutches still from when his girlfriend had gotten hurt and needed them. He did. So Zak went downtown and got them. I hobbled around on them for the night and was getting a little concerned. I so do not have time for an injury like that. I took some advil and a warm bath and the pain subsided a bit. Before bed, Zak wrapped my foot with an ace bandage and a brace to see if that would help me sleep. As I was drifting off to sleep, my foot started really hurting bad again, so I took the bandage and brace off and went back to sleep.

I woke up in the morning and cautiously put my feet on the floor. I put a teeny bit of weight on my foot and realized it didn't really hurt. Amazed, I put all my weight on my foot and it was fine. It hurt a little but more like a sore kind of hurt, not like the day before. I walk out into the living room with the crutches in my hand and I see Jaime on the couch. Surprised, I said "Hey pretty, what are you doing? Are you okay?" She responds "It looks like your leg is all better Mommy, is it?" And I tell her that yeah, it does feel much better and thank you for asking. She then goes potty and goes back to bed. A couple hours later Ben wakes up and he comes to me and I scoop him up into my lap for his morning cuddle. (It's a ritual for him, Jaime was the same way, they come find me when they wake up and climb in my lap for a moment of mommy love.) Anyway, Ben is in my arms and I'm looking down at him and he says "Mommy, does your leg feel better?" I couldn't believe it….

Both of my kids can be spoiled. Well to be honest, they are spoiled and sometimes they actually act like it. Jaime  only does it on occasion, however Ben does a lot. He's still in his stubborn, the world revolves around me phase.

I could not believe that both of these kids were so concerned about me that my leg was the first thing on their minds when they woke up.
Wow…just wow.

Maybe there's hope for them yet. ha!

It was a nice day…just hung out and enjoyed the day. I got a bunch of really cool cards from Zak and the kids and Jaime brought home a picture of a sunflower that she had made at school and it was wrapped all nice and pretty for Mother's Day. Very cool!

My phone was out literally all day and that was frustrating, but other than that, it was a cool day.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Mother's Day !!!
We didn't take any pictures but I have some from our night at the beach on Thursday, so I'll post those!
Enjoy!

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