Anything But Gray

Jaime is so very tom boy. And of course there is the part of me that loves it and then there is the part of me that wishes she would enjoy being a girly girl a little bit more. She is so impatient she will not let me do anything with her hair anymore. Nothing. All she wants is a ponytail because everything else takes too much time. And she won't wear skirts because she can't play on the playground at school in them. Just little things like that and I bow down to what she wants even though I could force her to let me do her hair and wear skirts. But no….I respect her choices because I believe it is good for a kid to get to have a say, when they can, because they are told what to do, so much. I think it helps them, in the long run, to allow them some freedom with their choices when it's appropriate. As annoying as hell as it is.

Well, it's supposed to be really warm this week, so I want her to wear a skirt because she doesn't have any shorts that are nice enough to wear to school. This is a time where Mama knows best and I explain this to her. I also had got her a pair of flats because all she had for shoes was her sneakers. She doesn't want to wear the flats because they aren't good "running around the playground" shoes. I tell her maybe they won't be so bad and she should try them. She so does not want to. But I convince her. I tell her that she can bring her sneakers in her backpack and if the flats aren't working out, she can change. So she's reluctantly agreeable to that and she puts the flats on. They wind up being a little too big but instead of kicking them off and telling me that, she kind of lets them fall off the back of her feet and steps on the sides of them, totally being destructive because she's angry. OH, HELL NO. I think. And I tell her "Jaime, just take the shoes off! You can wear your sneakers….take the shoes off now!"  And I'm upset….destroying things because you are upset is so NOT gonna happen in my house. Forget it! So she starts crying and I explain to her why I'm upset and that wearing the sneakers is fine. She calms down, understands what I'm saying and goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth while I do her hair.

As I'm finishing up her hair, she still seems a bit upset. I ask her what's going on and she looks at me, tears in her eyes and says earnestly…'I don't KNOW Mom…I don't know what's going on with me!" And I take her hand and tell her that's okay. That it's probably she's just tired and it might be from all the junk she ate yesterday, for Easter. She's just a little "off".

So we walk to school. Me, her, Gabby, Ben and Zak. Jaime is not 100% happy on the way. You can tell something is wrong with her but she doesn't know, so I don't pursue it. We give them all kisses and hugs and have a good days and we watch Jaime and Gabby walk to the playground…

I say to Zak 'And so it begins…."
He asks "What?"
I say "The emotional girl stuff…."
And he says…"Well it's not like she's upset and doesn't know why…"
And I say "oh yes it is…it's exactly that! When I asked her what was wrong, she said she didn't know."
Zak says "oh shit…"

Yeah, my thoughts exactly!
LOL