Anything But Gray

So right when you think everything is going well and everything is gong to be just fine…
one by one, the "good" things fall down, fall apart…fall wherever…but they ain't there anymore.

I am just weary. Tired. Drained.

And frankly, I think I'm having an argument with fate/karma/God…whoever.
All I know is I do not understand…getting all this good news, feeling this huge rush of relief..feeling like things are going to be alright, FINALLY….only to have it all go away…in the span of a few days….

What's the point?
Why on earth give me that moment of relief?
What was that about?
Was I supposed to learn something, in that moment of relief?
Was I was supposed to realize something?

Frankly, I'm so tired of trying to figure it out…if karma/fate/God would just send me a fucking email and CLUE. ME. IN. that would be fantastic!

Cause really…this crap is getting old.