• It is rare that I am shocked speechless.
    Rare that something is so beyond my comprehension that I can't even put into words the exasperation that is going on in my head.

    This is not a joke….

    I do not typically post political posts for a few reasons. I'll tell you why….

    • I don't like my views out there for public consumption because I believe politics is a really personal thing and people can get VERY heated when discussing it. Hell, even Zak and I can come to near blows when we have a political debate…
    • To be honest, I don't feel I know enough about politics to have a really strong debate with someone. I know enough to be able to talk about politics and to understand what's going on when I read things but to really strongly debate? I don't have enough facts, typically and I just don't feel confident to debate.
    • I hate arguing about stuff I cannot change…

    So that's just a few reasons….

    But this has me so completely frustrated that I can't help it. I have to post. I feel like I'm in some kind of twilight zone…I keep thinking, This can't be for real. No way. No effin' way did they just award this man the Nobel Peace Prize.
    But for real, it is. Unbelievable. 

    When Obama was running for office I went to a website where they have the voting records for senators. Because we all know that candidates will say anything when they are campaigning, so to truly get an idea of what a candidate is about, I go to this site to see how they have voted on certain issues, during their terms. There were so many bills that Obama was supposed to vote on but instead of yes or no…for or against….whatever….it had n/p. You know what that means? NOT PRESENT! That means the man wasn't there voting on issues! He was too busy campaigning! So for me, I had no real clue what Obama was about!  That and his total lack of experience were my biggest problems with him, then. I'm not even gonna get into what my problems with him now, are. Luckily, I don't have to because as his approval rating keeps plummeting and even his staunchest supporters are wavering, everyone else is doing the talking for me. Good.

    I am sad. I am honestly sad. I thought it spoke volumes for progress in our country when he was voted in. As much as I felt he was not the man for the job, white or black, as his lack of experience left me feeling he was just not ready for that position, but I was still so proud of Americans. So proud of us, for how far we've come…..but the longer he is in office, the sadder I get. I was so happy I saw this in my lifetime. So happy that my children will not have an America that has never elected a black man into the presidency…..but the price America is going to pay for that pride and progress is going to be too high. I don't know that, in the end, if it will be worth it. Obama is just simply not the right man to blaze this trail…..

    I mean really, how many years has he been politically active? What, exactly, has he done? The Nobel Peace Prize? Seriously?

    For Christ's sake that succubus Angelina Jolie deserves this more….

  • Today was a day I was DETERMINED to get a lot done for my etsy shop.
    I have got to time manage my days better because more often than not, the day gets away from me and I don't get nearly as much done as I set out to do….and it's getting me really frustrated.

    Well…today , I focused and I got FIVE new listings done in my shop!

    I am so excited !!
    I am LOVING how my shop is coming.
    It's looking really good and I am so proud of it.
    I am getting really encouraging feedback from the forums on etsy.
    It's cool.
    I'm psyched.

    Now I just need some orders and let me tell you, when I get the first one, you'll hear me screaming my head off, I'm going to be so excited!

    I've got one woman, a fashion designer who has said she is definitely going to hire me to write for her shop, but she has not ordered yet. But she sounds pretty definite….I just WANT HER TO ORDER! LOL

    Anyway, I thought I'd post a link and show you guys what I've gotten done….these Christmas photo card listings, plus a banner listing is what I got done today….I'm feeling VERY accomplished!

    Look here!

    What do you think?

  • check this out…..

    Paranormal Activity

    I think this is so smart!!  DJ..have you heard about this movie at all? I'm usually all over stuff like this and I usually have at least heard about a movie filing, but not this one, not even a little!

    Plus, the movie itself looks really good, well scary anyway…good is subjective.
    You should see the trailer…SCARY….I know I am so not seeing this movie. Zak will want to and I will beg and plead and remind him that if I watch something like that I will see it in my sleep…..and then we will go see it. LOL And I will have nightmares. ugh!

    Go vote !!!! Especially my Alaska folks……how cool would it be to get a super number in Juneau??
    I think i't d be neat! So vote!
    Cause you know, everything is all about MEEEEE………….LOL

    I kid….but really….do it.

  • Okay, okay, OKAY…..I am TRYING to keep up with my blog and I am getting SO SUPER frustrated at myself….here we go AGAIN. LOL

    Ben's birthday was awesome, fantastic, fun…all of the above! It was a beautiful, sunshiny fall day and THAT made me so happy because last year his birthday was horrible, weather wise. It was rainy and cold and NOT the perfect sunshiny, warm fall September day made me fall in love with September….but this year, it was! Whoo-hooo!!

    Ceci generously bought Ben's party decorations and he had a dinosaur theme. Ben and I also sat and designed an invitation for him, together. It was more for fun, as we didn't invite a ton of kids. Mostly just family, not friends from school or anything like that. But I thought it would be cool to design an invite with him and have him hand it out to the boys in the neighborhood that Jaime and him play with. There's four of them and when I sent Ben out the door with the invites I told him where I wanted him to go. I had a reason for this, I wasn't just being anal.  I wanted him to go to Kyle's first because he had left his sandals there. SO tell him, go to Kyle's, get your shoes and put them on, then go to Mitchell's and then over to Daniel's and then come back to the house and I will give you the last invitation to bring down to Matt's. I wanted him to come here first because I have to watch him walk down our road. I don't like either of the kids walking down our road by themselves as there is no sidewalk and people drive like complete assholes in this neighborhood. Although, upon reflection..what good is me watching them walk down the road? I mean, honestly….do I just want to see the get hit by a car or what? Because chances are if anything like that happens, I will be too far away to do anything but watch in horror….right? Right? Okay…so we've established that I'm sadistic moron…..so ANYWAY…Ben comes back from dropping off the first 3 invitations, with 1 invitation in his hand. I ask him who didn't get one? And he tells me no one got one because no one was home. Oh wait…he did give one to Mitchell. But he's only got 1 invite left so I ask him where did the other one go? And apparently he just gave it out to some little girl he's seen in the neighborhood! I explained to him that you can't just hand out an invitation to just anyone! LOL I think he gets it, but we'll see….pretty cute though.

    The party went well and we had a great time. He got a ton of gift cards and he LOVES that. Ceci sent him a toy and movie and that came yesterday….Shelly and Scott and Kadin came and of course, all the family…Billejo and Juan, Seany and his new girlfriend and her daughter….of course Niki, Rick and Gabby and my mom. It was so nice to sit out in the sunshine and just chat and hang out with everyone. Zak made his cake for him and man did that get gone quick! We gotta remember next year to make two or get a big store one….LOL

    All in all a fantastic day and I have a few pics to post of it……and more to sa y. This 6 thing….I don't know…it's hitting me harder than I thought. I just really can't believe Ben…Ben…is 6 !!! It's blowing my mind…..it just seems SO MUCH older than 5…like a world of difference.  And he's already ACTING older, which is cause of school, I think but it's still just mind blowing……just crazy how fast time flies……

    CRAZY!
     

  • If you could care less about Mariah Carey, move along…there is nothing for you to see here. 🙂 LOL

    This is me and J's thing….it's what we do..I LIVE for this…for both of us pouring over every note and every lyric and oooh and ahhhhing over this note with that word….it's just us. A Bon Jovi or Mariah album doesn't feel TRULY out until J and I do this…and I love how much we love that winds up being alike, and yet, almost always there are songs that she doesn't care for and I just LOVE and vice versa….what that means is, between the two of us, we adore the ENTIRE. FRICKIN'. ALBUM. LOL

    For you J…..thanks for sharing this with me, it truly is one of my most favorite things in the world and I am so happy you like doing it just as much as me! LOL 🙂

    Memoirs of an imperfect Angel…

    First of all, I love the record
    name…very different for Mariah and I’m hoping it’s a trend that started with
    Emancipation of Mimi….really was not fond of the one word record names. 

    Betcha Goin’ Know

    I really like this!  I love how visual the lyrics are and I love
    the way she’s singing the verses, it’s very conversational….like she’s telling
    a story.  The lyrics are so visual and
    couple that with the beat…the show, hard beat and it really draws you in and makes
    you feel the moment that she’s talking about…

    So I bolted out the door, jumped right into the
    car
    it's too dangerous to be in the vicinity of where you are
    Rolled down all the windows just so I could breath
    can't believe you just actually did that shit to me…

    And this is just heartbreaking….

    . Been too good to you, I've been virtuous and
    true
    to have something like this happen in my own bedroom..

    The
    chorus is so good! I love the anger in it…it conjures up quite the image,
    knowing she is capable of  being patient
    and waiting, waiting to make the one who hurt her, hurt. The La, la, la
    laugh…so mean and full o f spite and to me it screams strength and
    control.  Someone able to keep their
    emotions in check until the time is right….control.  Love it!

    And
    I love this line…the way she sings it..so utterly intimate, honestly like she
    is telling you about this…..

    You’re
    like, “ you OK?”
    I'm like, “mmm, I’m alright go to sleep and i'll be fine”

    And
    this line is really cool too….

    So
    I pulled to the side of the road to fix my face
    but I can't cover with make up with what my tears want to erase…

    So
    visual and so have been there a thousand times…..wish I wrote it…..

    The
    music is perfect for this song…love the slow but hard beat….and there are
    moments that sound movie-ish to me.  Like
    you can hear it in a scene of a movie. Sometimes movies music is what literally
    MAKES the scene…and there are some moments in this song that feel like
    that….that those little details make the song PERFECT.  

    Over
    all a really good song…

     

    Up out My Face

    LOVE.
    THIS. SONG.

    I
    really love the music it’s fun, playful…totally a sing along kind of song….it
    reminds you of a hot summer night and sitting on a car with your girlfriends
    and just bouncing to the beat and singing to the boys….and it makes it even
    more of a sing along song because of her voice throughout….not high, not
    low…right in the middle.  Which means you
    CAN sing it! LOL

    It’s
    almost got a Caribbean feel to it…that kind of music. …it’s a little bit
    “rougher” than that…but it’s kind of the same vibe, for me.  And the lyrics are so, so fun!

    Love,
    love, LOVE this…wish I wrote it….this is seriously one of my favorite lyrics
    one the whole record….

    “I thought we had somethin’
    special/ that we had something good/but I should’ve had  another mechanic under my hood”

    Love
    this line too and the way she sings it makes it even sassier…

    So look who’s crying now /boo hoo-hoo /talkin’
    ‘bout ya missing your boo-hoo-hoo”

     The end is so fun! I love all the metaphors…so
    funny and the laugh makes me laugh!

    Definitely
    one of my favorites right off the bat…..

    More
    Than Just Friends

    This
    is cool. Don’t love it, don’t hate it….I have a feeling it will grow on me. The
    music has some big drum beats and there’s an almost “big band” feel to it, ever
    so slight…more like influences. Her voice isn’t anything spectacular on it, I
    like it and it’s really singable (I know that’s not a word…my blog, I can make
    up words…LOL) just nothing really stands out…but it’s fun, I do like it but
    really it’s the lyrics that make me keep listening to the song…if I didn’t dig
    the lyrics so much, I think I would fast forward…but the lyrics are so fun, I
    have to listen!

    “thought I’d be with you but
    ya never tried to hollla / We can spend a couple milly actin’ silly in Milano /
    Boy hit your horn beep, beep I’ll follow/ have your whip in my  driveway by tomorrow / secretly I know you
    wanna hit it like the lotto “  

    and
    I love this line in the chorus….”Stepping
    in my Jimmy Choos /got it all cute for ya baby”  
    That’s so fun!

    A
    few of my favorite lines from the second verse…

    “Got me spinning round for ya
    like a little model” 

    “Love me down till ya hit the
    top of my soprano” 
    (SO LOVE THIS LINE!!!!
    Another wish I wrote it line….)

    Fun
    song!

    Candy
    Bling

    This
    is a cool song….totally old school…like really old school to me….romantic,
    wistful and sweet….her voice is mesmerizing on it…..I find myself not even
    wanting to try to sing along because I want to hear every breath she
    takes….it’s a fanciful, fun song…

    This
    part really stands out to me…

    “Now
    I wish I could go back and make time stop
    I would take this love throwback from the top
    Go DJ play my song
    And I'mma think about you all night long

    Love it!!!

    And of course I love the first line and the hazy
    September….I love that it made J think of me…..:-)

    Won’t be a favorite and I can see me skipping
    over it….but I do like it.

    Inseperable

    Another one that is just so so for me. I like the
    lyrics though…wish I liked the music better….lol. There’s some cool parts….but
    overall just meh for me….a little boring. 
    This one, even the lyrics won’t keep me from skipping over it …I can see
    me once in awhile, listening to it….that’s about it.

    But I do LOVE this…it’s a time after time
    sample! J mentioned it and I could NOT find it, but just now, listening, I’m so
    hearing it!!!  Right here…

    “The first text
    I ever got from you still saved in my inbox
    And I read it back time after time
    Boy I’m lost, can’t you look, won’t you please find me/I’m down to my last tear
    come rescue me”

    Very
    cool!

    Ribbon

    I like this… It’s smooth and mellow….and a good
    song to just chill to.  I love that some
    parts and lyrics are so “tough”.  It’s
    fun to hear Mariah singing it and in a sweet way….lol. So Mariah!  Nothing 
    spectacular stands out, lyrically…

    The
    Impossible….

    The
    music is too slow for me…it reminds me of Janet Jackson’s Anytime
    Anyplace….except not cool. LOL   Janet’s is edgy and hot…this is “sweet” which
    is so Mariah and nothing wrong with it, but just too slow and sweet for me. But
    I LOVE THE LYRICS!!!! Very cool lyrics!

    This
    is one of my favorites from the whole record…

    love you like you like a milkshake/ love ya
    like a high school girl on a first date”

    And
    I love her singing over that old song at the end…I can’t think of the name of
    the song, but I know I know it….it’s cool!

    Standing
    O

    I
    like the tough sound of this song….I like the message in the song, too. I wrote
    something once and this actually reminds me of that…..which is striking me as
    funny…..mine was something along the lines of a guy being “the best” and
    congratulating him for hurting a girl “the best”. Anyway…this reminded me of
    that and I like the concept and I LOVE the nod to her song “my all” in there….

    As
    you embrace her in your arms give her my all / give her more than you gave to me.”

    Love
    when songwriters do that…

    H.A.T.E.
    U

    LOVE.
    THIS. SONG.

    I
    needed this song so many years ago and although I am not in that place with
    Kirk anymore…man, this song just takes me to that time. ..it’s crazy but it
    truly makes me think why couldn’t she have wrote this YEARS ago! LOL

    The
    music, her voice…it feels truly pained….to me this is such an emotional
    vocal….to the point that it makes me think this song is really personal to
    her…..

    And
    the way the music starts off so utterly sweet…almost like a lullaby or a music
    box….it’s got a very old school melody to it and then it gets so very
    modern….very “hard”.  It’s got a hard
    back beat that changes the tone of the song in an instant. Although her vocal
    is still very emotional the beat of the song makes it harder…it reminds you
    that the song is about hurt, about angst and regret and heartbreak….

    The
    lyrics are amazing…truly amazing. Wish I wrote it.  This will be a favorite….

    “We went round for  round till we knocked love out/ we were
    laying in the ring not making a sound/ and if that’s a metaphor of you and I /
    why is it so hard to say goodbye/ I can’t wait to hate you/ make you pain like
    I do/ still can’t shake you boy/I can’t wait to 
    break through/ these emotional changes/ seems like such a lost cause/I
    can’t wait to face you/  break you down
    so low/there’s no place left to go/ I can’t wait to hate you”

    And
    this part is so incredibly sad to me….maybe because at one point I felt it? I
    don’t know…

    and I wish, I could press reset and feel that
    feeling again
    I sit and press rewind and watch us every night/wanna pause it, but I can't
    make it stay”

    And
    I so love this….the music gets subtle and it makes her voice really stand
    out…and it makes the words and her voice the focus ….

    “no need to
    call my phone cause I changed my number today
    a matter fact, I think i'm moving away (away) /sorry, the frustrations got me
    feeling that way and I just keep having one last thing to say…

    And then the music rises
    again and she goes into her falsetto and as much as her falsetto drives me nuts
    when she uses it a lot, it really works for the emotion of this song…REALLY
    works.

    “and I just
    wanna hold you, touch you,
    feel you, be near you, i miss you baby baby baby..
    i'm tired of try'na fake through, but there's nothing I can do..
    boy I can't wait to hate you..”

    This
    is just an amazing song…..cannot say how much I love this…..

    Languishing

    Mariah and a piano…..okay and
    a snap in this case…..but really, does there need to be anything else? Nope…..this
    is amazing. It’s like she’s writing one of these songs every album and I LOVE
    IT.

     So much I can relate to this song, especially
    given my issues right now with someone that I thought really loved ME, all of
    ME and believed things had gotten okay only to find out how very, very wrong I
    was.  Why I don’t say who it is, I
    honestly don’t know because the person my issues are about could care less
    about my blog….<sigh> And honestly, they are so friggin’ oblivious I
    doubt they would think it’s about them, even if they read it…given all
    that…it’s my blog and I’m doing a review and I can damn well say what I damn
    well want about whatever song I want.

    if you could only see

    That I was not put here for you
    To judge me and dispute my inner most
    truth


    And after all these years of enmity,
    envy and tears
    It's a shame you don't know me at all

    I was wondering
    Would you cry for me?
    If I told you that I couldn't breathe
    If I was drowning, suffocating
    If I told you that I couldn't breathe

    Those ancient buried recollections
    We transform them and select them
    You have yours, I have mine
    That's fine
    While we're too torn to heal
    Our stitch has never disappeared
    I have mine, you have yours
    I'm sure

    I was wondering
    Would you reach for me
    If you saw that I was languishing
    I was wondering would you cry for me
    If I told you that I couldn't breathe
    If I was drowning, suffocating
    If I told you that I couldn't breathe

     

    Effin’ PERFECT….

    Angel’s
    Cry

    My favorite, favorite, hands down, favorite song
    off this record…..

    Musically….subtle yet powerful, beautiful.  Vocally….intimate and just PERFECTION.  Her voice makes you FEEL the heartbreak…  Lyrically…heartbreaking and goose bump
    inducing…I can’t get through it without tearing up…..

    And I can review this…I can tell you about
    it…but YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT, to get it…

    Lyrically….

    I shouldn't
    have walked away. / I would have stayed, if you’d said /we could've made
    everything okay,

    Like she took a page from my
    diary…..

    And lightning
    don't strike the same place twice.
    When you and I /Said goodbye
    I felt the angels cry.
    True love’s a gift. /But we let it drift /in the storm.
    Every night, /I feel the angels cry.

    That first line…and lightning
    don’t strike the same place twice…..

    That is beyond amazing…so
    utterly sad, in the context of this song. So incredibly sad…it truly makes you
    feel this song. That one line….the power of lightning…the implication of
    “chance”….the truth in that it DOESN’T strike the same place twice. It is such
    a simple, simple, we’ve heard it all a thousand times before, yet used in the
    context like THIS….and the way she sings it…..oh. my. God. It honestly makes
    you want to hug her….it is so, so sad and exactly where I start crying…lol.  

    Limitless
    omnipresent kind of love /couldn’t have guessed It would just stop
    and disappear in a world / when here I am
    walking on this narrow road /Wobbling but won't let go.
    Waiting for a glimpse of the suns glow.

    I know I can stand just pull me back up /Like there ain’t a hurricane it’s just
    us.
    I'm willing to live and die for our love /Baby we can get back that shine.

    UGH! How can you NOT feel
    this??? The shock in realizing that a love that like that can end.  Can be done. Over.  Maybe you have to live it, to get it….?? And
    then the sadness in going on…alone, struggling.  And I love the begging for help…saying if you
    help, I can do anything….the outside crap doesn’t matter, if you help me up…ugh…so
    amazing!

    This is an INCREDIBLE lyric…

    And the end…the music fades a
    bit, so you can hear her…no, so you can FEEL her because THAT VOICE makes you
    FEEL those words…

    I just honestly cannot talk
    about this song enough….and that one damn line…THAT’S where I lose it….lightning
    don’t strike/ in the same place twice….and now I”ll never be able to hear that
    saying without thinking of this song! LOL You have to hear this song. HAVE TO.

    I
    wanna know what love is….

    I LOVE that she redid this!!!! This is me and
    Zak’s very first song and I am so ridiculously happy she did it! I love it….I
    would’ve liked it a bit more powerful, right from the get go, but I do love it……the
    end is just amazing and I cannot WAIT for the video….I hope it’s amazing!!!!

    This will definitely get played at me and Zak’s
    22nd anniversary wedding….I already can’t wait….:-)

    It’s
    A Wrap…

    Another favorite, hands down!!! Love the do-wop
    feel….this is the kind of song that makes me so MAD that I can’t sing!  This is such a FUN song to sing!!!! You can’t
    sing this and NOT sway your hips and feel the song take over you….I so love if
    she would do more of these…..it’s the “So Cold” kind of song that really
    showcases her voice and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! 
    Now, don’t get me wrong…I truly love the more “modern” Mariah, I really
    do…but man there is something about this kind of bluesy, loungy music that
    makes you devour every note, every beat, every word……and makes you want to hear
    it again and again and you discover something new every frickin’ time!  I hope she does this live….would love to see
    her sing this…..

    And I am SO LOVING that she says “effed up” (literally
    “effed up” I’m not sounding out “fucked up” here, people….) in such a smooth
    song…..you just really don’t expect and I love it!!!!  The word is SUCH a contradiction to the music,
    it’s brilliant!!!  And this whole thing
    is just awesome!

    “So get out of my face it's
    over
    Been sitting here all night leave me alone.
    Since 1 o'clock A.M. been drinking patron
    Let the credits role, its a wrap”

    Drinking
    patron?? Atta girl!! Smooooooth……LOL

    All in all, I love this record and will be listening to it nonstop!!!!!!

    🙂

    And now that I feel incredibly guilty for blogging about this before my son's 6th birthday…I will BE SURE to get it done later today! LOL 

     

  • Thing 1 and Thing 2 are doing fundraising for school. You know, the dreaded big white envelope with a catalog full of a bunch of crap you don't really want, but feel obligated to order? Yeah…that.

    EXCEPT..this year there is some really cute stuff! Well, I should take that back, as the wrapping paper is usually very cool. But back to the point…..as I was flipping through the catalog and seeing things that I could maybe get as Christmas gifts for people, it occurred to me that maybe some of our family and friends might want to do the same thing.

    So I'm posting the information about the catalog and all that!

    Kids Fundraising Catalog

    Just take a look around and if you happen to see something for someone for Christmas, you would be helping Jaime or Ben out AND getting some of your shopping done early! Can't beat that, right? RIGHT!

    The school code is 1373. It is Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, NH.
    Jaime Knutson Grade 3 Maffattone is her teacher's name.
    Benjamin Knutson Grade K Schneider is his teacher's name.

    I'm not 100% sure of what information you need, but I'm thinking you need the above information, at the very least.

    And like I said in the email, NO WORRIES if you can't or don't order! I just wanted to put it out there in case someone did want to. Don't order just for the sake of ordering!!! I want it to help you out too, only order if it's something you genuinely want to get. 🙂

    Thanks so much, guys! I appreciate it!!!

    oopsie….Forgot to say that I think the deadline for ordering is October 5th. 🙂

  • These are  just some pictures that I've put in my album but not "posted". Figured I'd catch up before my crazy weekend….:-)

    There are a TON of old friends that I connected with on facebook….this is one of them. This is Jen Wiles. I used to work with her at the donut shop when I was likke 17-18. She's a really cool chick and I was so happy to see her on facebook! We've been chatting and catching up for a few months and after trying for months, we finally managed to go out one Saturday night and had a REALLY good time!!! I can't wait to do it again! She's a blast!! These are a couple of pictures from that night…..

    This is a couple pics from one weekend when Billiejo & Co. came up from the cape…..

    009

    me and Seany….SO HAPPY HE'S BACK UP HERE! So love my cousin…:-)

    012

    Billiejo, Shelly, me and Zak. :-)  Ya see what Shell's lookin' at ?? uh huh…all these years, I KNEW she wanted me! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Just playin'……

    It's gonna be a busy blog day, I have something else to post later…..the kids are doing their fundraiser at school and I want to post a link in case anyone would like to get anything….I'm thinking Christmas gifts. There's some cute stuff they are selling this year!

    tah, for now!

  • What exactly is, sick?
    What constitutes sick? How sick do you have to be before it really counts as sick…..??

    Hmmm…maybe I should look up the definition because apparently, violent cramps that feel like someone is taking your lower abdomen and braiding it into Bo Derek corn rows, literal physical exhaustion to the point that every little step feels like a marathon and just all over blahness and mentally incapable of a rational thought, does not make one "sick."  Nope….that's "just your period."

    I fucking hate that.
    HATE it.
    Feeling like utter and complete crap just doesn't count for anything because it's "just your period…." It's like I should just take some advil and shut the fuck up, right? Pfft…whatever.

    And I shouldn't complain….I really shouldn't because I have the most helpful, wonderful husband on the planet. I really do. But man, I just hate that even though I feel so bad, the dishes are left for me…..the laundry still has to get done…there's just always things that no matter what, I have to do even when I feel like this. And honestly I feel bad for Zak, too. He hung out with the kids after school and got Jaime to finish up her homework so I could go nap. So it's not like he doesn't care or is completely unfeeling….he cooked dinner last night while I went out to visit a friend, which is why they were still sitting there today, because I was out last night and didn't feel like doing them when I got home. So I know it's my own fault too…..but come on! Can't you at least wipe the friggin' spaghetti sauce that was all over the counter? Geez……..

    Just sometimes being a woman, sucks. Sometimes I just really, really wish I could call in sick and my shit would still get done. <sigh>

    For the record, because now I'm curious enough that I had to look it up, here is the actual definition of sick….

    Main Entry: 1sick
    Pronunciation: \ˈsik\
    Function: adjective
    Etymology: Middle English sek, sik, from Old English sēoc; akin to Old High German sioh sick
    Date: before 12th century

    1 a (1) : affected with disease or ill health : ailing (2) : of, relating to, or intended for use in sickness <sick pay> <a sick ward> b : queasy, nauseated <sick to one's stomach> <was sick in the car> c : undergoing menstruation
    2 : spiritually or morally unsound or corrupt
    3 a : sickened by strong emotion <sick with fear> <worried sick> b : having a strong distaste from surfeit : satiated <sick of flattery> c : filled with disgust or chagrin <gossip makes me sick> d : depressed and longing for something <sick for one's home>
    4 a : mentally or emotionally unsound or disordered : morbid <sick thoughts> b : highly distasteful : macabre, sadistic <sick jokes> <a sick crime>
    5 : lacking vigor : sickly: as a : badly outclassed <made the competition look sick> b : incapable of producing profitable yields of a crop <sick soils>

    sick·ly adverb

    Damn, that's quite the definition, huh?? And look at what else just happened to show up on the google search page…

    How to call in sick when you just need a day off! (SERIOUSLY! LOL).

    LOVE IT!

    okay…whining over….for now.

    🙂

  • My birthday is January 4th and for a lot of years, it sucked.
    it's a pretty crappy date for a birthday.
    Walk with me a minute, I'll explain….

    It's 10 days after Christmas, so everyone is broke.
    It's 3 days after New Year's, so everyone is done partying.
    3 days after New Year's also means no one is doing anything fun anymore because of stupid New Year's resolutions. You know, like…I'm gonna quit eating sweets or I'm gonna stop drinking so much or I'm gonna quit smoking. The quit smoking one really sucks because it's typically around Day 3 of quitting that people turn into real assholes.  Get my point? Talk about a downer! Right??
    So, I think it's a kinda not so fun date for a birthday. LOL

    Anyway, my birthday has been fine for years and years now. I haven't had a lousy birthday in I don't know how long. Actually, when my birthday really turned around for me was when I stopped not saying anything and just expecting everyone else to step up and make it awesome. Well, I quit doing that when I had kids. I don't want to pass my birthday drama crap down to them and I honestly LOVE birthdays, including my own and I love getting excited about it and counting down the days and all that…….

    Well, before we had kids and I was still in the my birthday sucks mode……Ceci gave me a new one. September 22nd. Some years we make a big deal of it, some years we don't….but I always love when that day rolls around. It's "my day" from Ceci….it's a day that makes me realize how lucky I am to have a friend like her. It makes realize how amazing she is.

    So last night she calls and she was like .."Okay, I got you your gift. I am giving you an itunes gift." And I'm like "AWESOME!!!" because I so wasn't expecting anything and what a KICK ASS gift! So then she says "And get this…it's an allowance. You get it every month!!" I about died. She is so, so thoughtful and we both were just cracking up at the idea that I am now getting an allowance from Ceci!!!!! LOL

    I LOVE it…..:-) Here's what I found in my email when I looked……

    Can you read it? It's says "Cecilia Dixon sent you an itunes allowance"
    I am so saving that forever…..an allowance from Ceci…how HYSTERICAL is that!!!!!

    That woman is so good to me, so wonderful….she spoils me so bad!!! LOL

    Thank you Ceci, you are awesome!!!!!! I love you!!

    Wanna know the first song I bought? Because it HAD to be special, it HAD to be "me".
     
    September by Daughtry.
    🙂

  • So I'm listening to music…actually this all started because Ceci sent me a song awhile ago that she wanted me to listen to and I am JUST NOW getting around to it…(bad, bad best friend…ugh! ) And it is so her and the lyrics are so her….and it just got me into a sentimental mood…..

    I miss writing….so miss my lyrics…..and I miss sitting with my music and really feeling it….really letting it envelop me and letting it take me into moods and emotions that would just spill onto the page or leave me lost in love….in love with writing, in love with words, in love with music that moves me….

    And tonight a few songs came on in a row that just reminded me of so much…….songs that have people or memories attached to them and it got me thinking…….I bet a lot of the people don't have a clue that certain songs make me think of them…..and I feel like writing about them tonight…..maybe they'll someday see it….maybe they won't….maybe they will come across it at a time when they felt lonely and unimportant and they needed to know, needed proof, that they are thought of…..or maybe they will never lay eyes on it and nor would they care even if they did…..I have a feeling they would though…who doesn't love knowing a song reminds someone of them….???

    I guess that's why they call it the blues Elton John

    James and I have quite a few songs…..this is one of them……

    "just stare into space, picture my face in your hands…." This song, especially this line, reminds me of sitting in his truck with him, down at the car wash on John Fitch….from midnight until the sun came up……after not talking to him or seeing him for like 5 years…we couldn't talk enough. There was so much to catch up on, so much to say…..
    James and I were buds, back in the day. I adored him…..(still do….). When we hung out all the time, he would sing to me. He always sang to me……and I loved it.  On this night, as we sat talking in his truck, this song came on and he started singing to me…..and when it came to this line, he put his hand on my face and looked straight into my eyes and sang to me……arrggghhhh! I get chills even now, just thinking of it…..

    Into The Night…Benny Mardones.

    Reminds me of "the college kid".  Come on guys…..this is a quiz….remember his name??
    When I was 16, I met a guy that was going to college. He was 21 and I went on my very first real "date" with him. He was also my very first true heart break. He was first for a few other things…..I lied to my mom and told her he was 18. When she found out he was 21, all hell broke loose. It was a mess…..a crazy, crazy time. This song takes me back there and reminds me of him…..

    The World I Know Collective Soul

    JR….always. His band used to sing this and when I hear this song, I hear his voice…..and I see him on stage and it makes me miss him. Whenever I hear this song on the radio, it feels like a hug from JR….

    Praise You Fatboy Slim
    This song reminds me of why I LOVE celebrating birthdays. There is a line in this song and that's it….THAT'S why I am so into birthdays for the people I love…….
    .

    "I have to celebrate you baby, I have to praise you like I should…."

    This song makes me think of ALL the people I love. Different times, it's different people….but I always think of people I love and the reason why I love celebrating them….

    This is how a heart breaks Rob Thomas

    This song actually reminds me of karaoke nights in Juneau. It reminds me of our karaoke dude and Jason and all of us…we used to have freakin' BLAST at karaoke up there. One time this song came on and I was singing it and dancing at our table and the karaoke guy came up to me with the mike and was trying to get me to sing and just messin' with me……it reminds me of good, crazy bar nights! Love it!!

    Everything I own Bread

    Zak's Dad…..and I can never, ever get through the whole song without losing it. God, it makes me miss him so, so much. I hate that he's gone. I hate that Zak and Ceci lost him. I hate that my kids never got to know him and I hate that I lost my last chance at a father. 14 years…..14 years and it doesn't hurt any less.  Not one bit.

    Down in the Boondocks Billy Joe Royal

    My cousin Billiejo…..every single time. 🙂 It's her favorite oldie and I remember being kids, listening to this and loving it.

    Who Knew Pink
    Dave and Wanda……it's a long story…..but this song so makes me think of them. For some crazy reason, in my utterly insecure mind, I thought they didn't want to talk to me. I had tried and tried to get a hold of them and couldn't and I got stupid for a minute…….even though I was an idiot and totally wrong, this song will forever be ingrained to that time when I thought that our friendship had run it's course. Thank God I was wrong!!!!! lol

    Cecilia–Simon and Garfunkel 
    Ceci, of course!!!!! How can I not????

    Titanic...Celine Dion…
    And THIS is the last song I listened to…..well, tried to listen to because even after all this time, I cannot hear this song. Not for a second. The remix, I am fine with….but the slow version? The original version? Forget it. Can't do it. Zak and I and our little "break" in '97……well, this song just brings it all back and I can't do it….in fact, I even wrote a lyric (ish..LOL!!) about it and you know what?? This is a good of time as any to post it…..what the hell. I wrote this ages ago and I want to end my little music indulgence on a happy note…..and posting my lyrics make me happy. So here it goes. This is one of the very few lyrics I have wrote in the last million years…..and it's one of the ones that just spilled out….no pauses, no starts and stops. This is it.

    That Song (Titanic Pain)

    Sometimes I hate the glow of the Christmas tree lights
    and my march to the glacier in the middle of the night
    December 22nd and the pouring rain
    and the way you tried to never tell me her name
    I have forgiven and sometimes I even forget
    but all is lost once that song's in my head
    I avoid it like death cause I know that it brings
    the feelings I've survived and all the suffering
    but grocery stores and shopping malls don't care how I feel
    and from that first note the feelings are real
    a fury of memories crashes inside when that song creeps up and takes me by surprise
    It comes on so sudden I gasp for air
    try to control my breathing cause you are right there
    You'd never understand and I can't explain
    why some of your sin deep down still remains
    You've paid your dues with more than I've asked
    proven that one mistake was exactly just that
    But there's some things I guess
     time or sorry can't fix
    No matter what, no matter how
    that song makes me feel like t
    his

    I suppose it's more of a poem than lyric but I LOVE it. Would love to try to put it to music as I think it's a really cool idea, a cool concept…..but that could just be me. LOL

    Whatever the case maybe be, I dig it and was something I really needed to write. 🙂