Anything But Gray

And it totally fucking SUCKS.
It's sucks, sucks, sucks, SUCKS.

Normally, I get a new  Bon Jovi cd and I devour it. I sit and listen to it with my headphones and really soak it in. And then I call J and we talked about it song by song. What we like, or don't like. What gives us goosebumps…what we wished we wrote. The lines that made us go "That's why I love him!!". J did it on her  blog right away. Here I sit on FRIDAY..(three friggin' days later!!) still not having had a chance to do that. I've listened to it over and and over, I know songs by heart already, but it's been in my truck while I'm driving the kids all around. Or going to do this errand or go do that thing for work.

Last night Zak and I got home from date night and JR and Ceci were sitting on the porch having a cigarette and talking. We all hang out outside for a few and visit. Ceci asks me "Have you gotten the cd yet?" And I say "yeah, Zak suggested trying Costco and they had it! I've had it since Tuesday." and she looks at me, jaw on the ground and a look of "What the fuck is going on?" in her eyes and she says "What?? Normally you're running around…oooh, listen to this part and oh my gosh, listen to this lyric" I was like "I KNOW…I have been so busy this week I haven't gotten a chance to even show anyone anything!!" So this is really, really unusual for me…to have the cd and not have really, really talked about it yet or shown people how awesome it is. It's not like I haven't gotten to listen, but I just haven't gotten an opportunity to really sit with it.

Being a grown up totally friggin'  blows.

Until I have the new Bon Jovi cd in my hands.

Can I just say what awesome friends I have, too? Kim (of Tina and Kim) called me to see how I was "hanging in there" with only one more day left to go until the cd comes out. LOL
She so knows me. She knows I'm going crazy today.

I absolutely cannot wait.
I'm like a kid at Christmas, I am going to be up so friggin' early, I just know it.
It is going to kill me to not go to the VH1 site and listen to it.
Maybe I'll do just one song?
NO!!
I can resist.
I know I can….

Maybe I can't.

fuck.
This is going to be a long night…..

All weekend.
NO ACCIDENTS!!
Very first time since we've been potty training him that he's done that!
He even got up in the middle of the night to go even though he had a pull up on!!
I am SO HAPPY!!!
So proud of him!!

We had a really good weekend. I saw Kim, albeit very briefly, but it was nice to at least make eye contact. lol
She ran to Carrs for me too, to pick up something I needed! Seriously saved the day….saved me TONS of time and trouble because I had both the kids and it would've taken me FOREVER to get that with them…so I was really happy she did that.

Then we met Danielle & Joey out at the beach and spent the whole afternoon out there. Very cool!
My shins are so burned though….It was Danielle's brilliant idea to roll up our pants(so what if I thought it was a good one at the time?? lol)…..so yeah, just my SHINS are burned. Ouch.

(Side note and little bit of advice.)
Have you ever tried to take a shower with your shins on fire? Yeah…..don't. It friggin' hurts like a mother….

So Saturday was awesome.
Sunday, father's day!!, Jaime and I put up some streamers and decorated Zak's chair for father's day. She was giggling the whole time, she loves doing stuff like that. Zak thought the decorations were cute, I think, and we had a really good day. I got him slippers–he honestly needed them!!—and those fit great. Jaime gave him a little gift she made at school.
We walked to the airport later and Zak and I watched a movie. Marky hung out for a lot of the day…
All in all…super good weekend!

I have to email Kim, Danielle suggested we go out to the movies and I want to. I keep meaning to call Kim to invite her and keep forgeting…ugh! I'm actually going to do that right this second so I don't forget–AGAIN!!

Here's a couple of my favorite pictures from our anniversary.

I absolutely love how this first one came out. I hate my hands, but I love my wedding ring and I love the concept of this picture and it came out really good, I think.

Anniversary 2007 redone (36)

Here's one of the two of us…

Anniversary 2007 redone (15)

More later…. I have a bunch that I want to post.

tah!

J tagged me….these are fun!

What are your top 10 most-played songs currently?

1. Make a Memory–Bon Jovi
2. First Time–Lifehouse
3. Better Than Me–Hinder
4. 4 in the morning–Gwen Stefani
5. SexyBack–Justin Timberlake
6. What goes around..–Justin Timberlake
7. I am–Bon Jovi
We just had our anniverary so I've been listening to one of the cd's Zak made me, these next songs are from that..
8. Melt with you–Modern English
9. Always on my mind–Elvis Presley
10. Everything I do–Bryan Adams.

Love these tags! lol.

And another crazy busy week is done….

I cannot get over how fast the days go by.
And how little time I have to get everything done.

LOL Okay this is GREAT. The gods are on my side tonight. A perfect example of what I'm talking about has just presented itself. The kids are finally in bed, Ceci came by for a few minutes and she just left, Marky is working so I know he won't be coming over and Zak is gone working out. So I sit at the computer for the first time since 7am this morning and I'm thinking cool, I can go to my blog and write and I can go read J's blog and all the other computer stuff that I love to do.
The phone rings. It's Tina and of course I want to talk.
But this is a perfect example of how I stay so crazy busy all the time!

Off to talk for a few….

Okay, back.

This was a super good week for Jaime. A few of the kids that were in Jaime's class go to the Fine Arts Camp with her. Rung's daughter, Sunny is in there and that's cool because I really like Rung so I get to see her every day! lol Wolfgang (everyone calls him Wolf) is in there also. Wolf goes over to Sunny's house on Tuesday's and they play, well Rung offered to pick up Jaime and drive her to class and then pick her up after class and bring her to her house to play with Sunny and Wolf. Very cool! Jaime didn't really hang out that much with Sunny or Wolf during the school year, so I was curious to see how it would go. I got to Rung's house and they were having an absolute blast! That was cool. Then the same night she had a neighborhood friend over. Then we went swimming on Wednesday night and it was so much fun, we had the pool almost to ourselves! Thursday we went met Danielle downtown during her lunch and we walked with her a little bit and we got Jaime an ice cream cone. Jaime was happy about that, she really loves Danielle. On Wednesday she went to Rally and so she got to spend time with Cierra. Today they put on a play at Fine Arts Camp which was cool. Zak and I watched Jaime and she did so good! Wolf's mom Kim was there and she has twin boys. I hung out with her and held one of the the boys while she had the other, while we watched the play. She didn't need my help, but I know how nice it is to have those extra hands…especially with two of them! She was really appreciative of my helping out and that made me feel good. Plus the boys are just so stinkin' cute, I can't resist! lol. Kim was going to take all her boys to out to Auke Rec (the beach..) and asked if Jaime and I wanted to go. I had a couple of errands that I had to get done, so I told her I'd call her after I got done with them. She wound up getting busy and couldn't go, which was a bummer, but I know how that goes. So after I picked up Ben, I took the kids out to Auke Rec and right when we got there one of Jaime's classmates, Lindsay (who's in the Fine Arts Camp too) goes walking by with her dad and little brother, so they hung out with us. Very cool! So just tons of fun for that little girl!

While I'm talking about Lindsay, I just gotta say I love how mom's get each other's backs and really look out for each other and the kids. I was running just a couple minutes late picking Jaime up the other day and I tried to call Rung to ask her if she'd hang with Jaime until I got there. I couldn't get through to Rung but when I got there Jaime was standing with Lindsay and her mom. Lindsay's mom had noticed Jaime looking around for me and saw that I wasn't there so she hung out with her waiting for me to get there. SO COOL. It seems like such a minor thing, but it's really not. It's such a good feeling when you know other mom's will help you out at the drop of a hat, without hesitation and without being asked. And that relief that comes with knowing that, it's truly immeasurable.
It's something you just do. As I was profusely thanking Lindsay's mom, she was saying "It's a Mom thing." Exactly, that's exactly it. When you're a mom, it's automatic, it's just what you do. And it's just nice to see that….the world isn't all bad.
I am so glad we put her in that camp, it was expensive, but it has been well worth every penny. I am a happy mommy! Love seeing my baby girl having such fun. That's joy, folks. True joy.

Work has been awesome. Very busy and that is good. All my work is caught up and complete and Zak's desk is clean, our files are organized (which if you know how much freakin' paper work goes with real estate and how unorganized Zak is…you would know this is no small feat.) He's keeping busy with showings and closings….and I feel good. I feel like I'm really helping and I feel like I'm freeing him up to do what he does best. Our marketing looks fantastic and we just got out of an advertising contract that wasn't really paying off and into one that we think will work much better. Everything at work is good and I like that.

It has been so absolutely beautiful out and I am just beyond THRILLED.

I think I am going to pack up the kids first thing in the am and head to the beach. Jaime asked if we could go again tomorrow and I told her I wasn't sure what our plans were and we'd see tomorrow. She then asked me if we could go right after breakfast because we aren't busy then. LOL That was so cute, so I think I am going to do just that.

The title of this post is the name of one of my playlists on my ipod. It has songs that remind me of my childhood, songs that bring me back to Boston and being a kid.

Anyway, my last vacation home my sister and I were driving down to the Cape to my cousin's house. I made Niki get off the highway and go through our old neighborhood in Boston so I could take some pictures. Yesterday I played with some of the pictures in photoshop and this is what I came up with. I *love* these pictures, love how they came out and I love the feelings the conjure up when I look at them.

This our apartment building we lived in. We lived on the 2nd floor.

Boston 2005 redone (8)

This is looking up the street from in front of the apartment.

Boston 2005 redone (11)

And this last one is the front door of the apartment.

Boston 2005 redone (10)

That door is the exact same door that was there when we lived there.
The exact same door.…
The door that we walked through a thousand times.
So many memories are behind this door…
When I look at this picture, my mind opens the door and my memories just explode behind it.
Me, my brother and my sister went through so much in this apartment.
In this apartment is when I came to understand the true value of family….the true value of having a brother and sister to share my life with. Because no matter what I went through in my childhood, good and bad, they were right there with me. And they experienced it all too.
They mean the world to me…having them all my life has been a true blessing for me and I honestly don't know what I would do without them. I wasn't the best big sister and I hope in our adult life, I have made amends for some of the wrongs. I am so glad that we are still close, that time nor distance has diminished our relationship.
They are my history, my comfort, my heart and my home.

My big little brother and my sistah….
Thank you for sharing my life with me.
I love you so much!

This really broke my heart….

Year from hell…

We celebrated our anniversary yesterday. We played hookey from work, brought the kids to daycare anyway…and just hung out. It was AWESOME. It was such a wonderful day, just hanging with him with nothing to do. I love just being with him…very cool.

15 years. I can't believe it.

I got a Blackberry!! I've been wanting one for over a year but everytime we go into the store, they are sold out. So we leave and blow it off and forget about it for another few months….

This time they FINALLY had one. I LOVE it! Zak got a new phone too, it'll be here in a couple days….

Ceci and JR threw us a little celebration upstairs. Kayla came down and watched the kids while we all went upstairs and played cards and JR grilled and Ceci made us a super cute cake. I'll post pics later. Ceci got us a couple of gifts….so sweet! She had a bunch of old pics of Zak and I layed out under a piece of plexiglass on her kitchen table and it was like whooaa! Look how young we look!! lol. I don't think I look all that much different  but in some pics the difference in Zak is unreal!  Ceci had bought me a bottle of Cristal for my birthday, so we brought that upstairs and drank that. Yummy!!

Zak and I worked for a couple hours in the morning, we went on tour. That's when all the agents go around to check out all the new listings for that week.

We go to this one house and Zak and I are joking with the realtor that's there. And there are a few other agents checking the house out. I start walking down the hall and the agent says "Why did I think you guys just got married?" because Zak had told her it was 15 years for us. Zak says "Maybe because she looks so freakin' HOT."

That, my friends…..is why I adore that man. He adores me. He thinks I'm the greatest thing that walked the planet. He thinks I'm pretty. He thinks I"m a good mom. He values my opinion and advice. He loves to make me laugh. He loves to make my day easier. He wants to provide for me and our children. He works hard to do that.

He is an amazing man. I'm so lucky to get to be married to him.

I can't wait to spend the next 15 years together…. Happy Anniversary, baby…..thank you for everything! Mush…xoxoxo 

Some of you may have noticed someone by the name of I Love JoJo's Holes leaving comments.  For those of you that don't know, that is Zak. My husband dude. He would like me to explain where the name came from. 

During the first few years of our relationship I used to talk about owning a donut shop (thanks Dave & Wanda!!!) Jo Jo's Holes was the name I had picked out. It was a joke, obviously, but it was a funny thought. Once in a blue moon we still joke around about it. So that's where that name comes from. For all of you with the piggy minds, he is *not* referencing any body part. (although he….ah, never mind…..ha!!)

You also may have noticed the lovely and oh-so-cheerful picture he has chosen for himself. You all should know that my husband stood in that EXACT pose for a good 3-5 minutes while my brother kept trying to get the *perfect* picture. Look at the pic. Are you looking? Okay, now imagine him just standing there like that in the exact same position, with the exact same goofy ass smile….HYSTERICAL. Every time I look at that pic, I seriously laugh out loud. He is such a friggin' dork, he makes me laugh so hard.

Just had to clear up those things. One by request, the other because I had to explain that dorky picture, less anyone think that it is for real and Zak has turned into Mr. Cheesy-Smile-Guy….ha!