Anything But Gray

So I was sitting in my living room, at my computer, working….trying to work, I should say, because I am so effin' tired I can barely keep my eyes open….

The girls are in the dining room, doing their homework….

All of a sudden I hear my sweet, beautiful, innocent, precious 8 year old daughter say.."Balls, vagina, sex…."
In that order.  Shit you not. Clear as day, she says all three words.
My jaw drops and let me tell you, I was WIDE AWAKE at that point…

My brother calls me, right then..impeccable timing, I might add.
I go outside and talk to him for five minutes and think of how I'm going to handle this situation with Jaime…..

We have never had a sex talk with her, at all. So I know one is coming…..great! Not exactly how I planned on spending any portion of my day, thank you very much.

So I hang up with Marky and come back inside. I sit down at the table and ask Jaime about what she said. She, of course, denies she said them. That right there, I don't like. I don't want her to think she' s in trouble or that she said something "bad". I really think the more you shroud something in mystery or the more you "forbid" something, the more they want to do it and I really believe it's part of what leads to sexual rebellion. So for me and my kids, I always, always want them to know they can talk to me and their dad and sex will never be a taboo topic. 

So I ask her if she knows what the words she said means….
She knew what vagina meant. She did not know what balls meant. I explained it and told her the actual name and told her that balls is not an appropriate word for a little kid, used in that context. If she had to talk about that body part, for whatever reason, she needs to use the proper word. Then I ask her what she thought sex meant. I was surprisingly calm and at ease. I honestly thought I would squirm in my seat the day this "talk" came. But I was fine. yay me! LOL

So I ask her to explain to me what she thinks sex means. She kind of turned away, shy and nervous and I told her that no one is in trouble, I just need to know what she knows, to make sure it's correct. So she looks at me, completely relaxed now, and says….

"Sex is when a boyfriend and girlfriend get naked and lay down together and the boy wiggles the girls boobs and the girl squeezes the boys penis."

I didn't laugh. I smiled a little…but I managed to not laugh. I said it was a little more than that, but she's on the right track. She then says….

"I also heard that a husband and wife, for their wedding, to show each other they love each other. They do it the day after the wedding cause, you know, they are too busy on their wedding day."

THAT is when I had to excuse myself and leave the room because I was DYING laughing…..the idea that the only reason why a husband and wife do not consummate the marriage at their wedding is because they are just "too busy" with other wedding stuff, cracked me up. 

How freakin' cute is that?

The whole thing just made me smile.

Gabby was here, so I didn't want to go too in depth with the "sex" talk, as I feel kids should hear that from their parents, but later Jaime and I will sit down and I will explain to her why husband and wives have sex, to make babies.

So weird…..see…I'm good with her believe there is a love fairy that just flies around sprinkling glittery baby dust and that's how babies are made….but NOOOOO…..she's got to go and grow up on me so I have to explain to her the REAL way things are done.

I'm way too tired for this today…..LOL