Anything But Gray

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  • More Christmas!

    We're heading to the Cape today to have our Christmas  and Christmas dinner with my family down there. I am really excited. I so love going to my cousin's house. It's warm, it's cozy, it's inviting, it's loud, it's funny and I just love it there.
    Zak is going and it'll be his first time down there since we've moved here. He's looking forward to going, too.
     
    Which is nice to not feel like I am dragging a grumpy husband who'd rather be home with me. lol.
    Not that I have a problem doing that, it's just not as much fun as a willing participant.

    🙂

  • Service Message…


    Important!

    As a fellow crafter….I wanted to post this.
    And the fact that mainstream media hasnt' hardly talked about it and I think it's a big deal, so…doing what I can to spread the word….

  • unexpected.

    So I'm looking through some facebook flair on 2Peas.
    Lots of the ladies have their flair in their signatures and I came across this.
    It took me by surprise…so completely unexpected.
    But I love it!

    Crafty flair
    Crafty flair

    <giggling>
    Is that not hysterical???

  • Love/loathe Tuesday…

    Let's try this again! LOL

    Loathe

    • Ice storms! (this is new…I did not know I loathed ice storms until last week!)
    • no power
    • not having as much money as I would like for Christmas
    • not seeing or getting to talk to people I adore
    • my hair
    • feeling like a second choice
    • not writing lyrics anymore
    • not getting to read anymore….a new Patricia Cornwell novel is out "Scarpetta" and I want it so bad and I just want to devour it…like sit and read it in an entire day and just lose myself in it, the way I used to do with books.
    • losing something

    Love

    • Jaime having friends over
    • Christmas!
    • feeling missed by people I miss so much
    • living next door to my sister and her family and mommy
    • second thoughts
    • Shelly coming over to visit even though she lives an hour away.
    • My Friday nights out
    • the song "Live your Life" STILL. ha!
    • getting to see family you don't see a lot.
    • that my pictures are all up in my house. I'm surrounded by the people I love again! Love it!!!
    • Brainstorming with Zak. We are such a good team and we think so well together. 
    • My sister starting her new job

    I actually could go on and on about the love…but I'll leave it at that and just be glad I actually got to this today!

  • Not my fault this time!!!

    Ice storm struck….we survived…..everyone is saying they have never seen anything like this….I'm getting really tired of showing up in places and experiencing "holy shit! That hasn't happened in 60 years!" or "Holy shit! We've never seen anything like this!" weather….

    • go to Alaska…proceed to experience the 2 wettest summers in history, back to back. '91 & '92.
    • Move to just outside of Pensacola, Florida…promptly get hit by 2 hurricanes. Pensacola hadn't had a direct hit from a hurricane in 60+ years.
    • Move back to Alaska…experience the hottest summer ever and the winter with the most snowfall, ever.
    • Move back home….and experience this ice storm…not to mention the abnormal t-storms everyday for weeks this summer.

    What, I ask, is up with that?? LOL  As if my life wasn't crazy enough, like I need the weather to contribute??

    But let me digress….I have never lost a home to fire or flood…nor a loved one….and I have been witness to people who have…so I have to consider myself lucky.

    I just like to bitch. <wink>

    Ice storm 2008 1
    Ice storm 2008 1

    Can you believe ice can do that much damage?
    Thousands of people are still without power!!
    Unbelievable!!!

  • Accomplished.

    Guess what?

    I got my first order from At A Glance Graphics!!!
    How awesome is that??
    I'm psyched!!!
    🙂

    There has been so much going on that any time I have had time to blog, I feel like there is so much I want to talk about, I don't know where to start! I hate that feeling!!

    I have pictures I want to post, news I want to share and just day to day stuff I want to chat about….it's crazy to feel like I have too much stuff to say! Since when has that ever been a problem for me? lol

    I'll just start with last night….
    Jaime joined the Girl Scouts and last night was the parents meeting. My sister is leading the troop and I am a Co-Leader. (Whoo-hoo!! Anytime I get to have "leader" by my name, that is a good thing! ha!) I'm really excited about this and I think we are going to have a lot of fun with it. I'm just beyond thrilled to have Jaime involved in something, finally. There is definately at least one girl from the troop that goes to Jaime's school, so that is good. Hopefully they get along well and become friendly.

    My mom emailed me a link to the public library calendar and it looks like there is some stuff that I could take Ben too. Yay! I am just dying to get him involved in the something. I am going to print out a bunch of my "Mommy Cards" and hand them out to Ben's teacher and see if she can give them to the kids Ben seems most friendly with. I need to try to get some play dates going or something for the poor kid. There are just no kids his age in this neighborhood, so I need to get off my butt and get him involved in some stuff.

    It has been really cold for the last few days and now today….it feels like spring! I love it!!
    It's like a random warm day….and it works out really good because I have to go to the base to grocery shop with my mom and sister and it's just nice to go out and do things when it's warm out.

    I go to this site a lot…Juneau Webcams 
    I like to "see" what it's looking like in Juneau at any given time.
    For some reason, it just makes me feel closer to the people I miss there, to actually see for myself what it looks like.
    And they are getting some SNOW right now! lol. I actually love the first big, big snow and I think this is the first one for them.  The first snow in Juneau is always so awesome, it covers up the gray of the fall and makes everything beautiful. Until it rains again, of course. And then it's just dirty snow, which isn't so beautiful….but that first snow….that is awesome.

    I can't wait for our first big snow here! 🙂

    And I'm off to get the morning started…..
    Hopefully I'll have more later!

  • Well, where the hell have YOU been?

    Talk about neglect!
    My gosh…

    So Thanksgiving was FANTASTIC. Aside from the stupid bridge I had to drive over to get to and from Saco, Maine, it was awesome. And there was a minor issue in the morning that left me crying at my dining room table, but I got over it and the day went fantastic!

    We went to my mother's cousin's house. (Are those apostrophe s's right? I am so bad with those…) I have met her maybe once in my life. lol. But all my family went…me, Zak and Thing 1 and Thing 2, my sister, Gabby and Trevor (Rick had to work..) Billiejo, Mikey and their kids, and my Auntie Phyillis. So it was not an awkward I-have-no-idea-who-these-people-are thing. It was wonderful. We ate, watched football, played football in the street….me and my 3.5 inch heel boots felt that the next day, but I can't resist throwing a ball around….we visited and drank and I got to say grace! Until my cousin Billiejo said to me from across the table…."Jo, it's grace, not a sermon." Ha!! And I really wasn't even going on and on….yet. LOL Totally cracked me up. I love that girl.

    But I was so very thankful and I couldn't say it enough. Thankful to be part of my family's Thanksgiving. Thankful that my kids were so excited about Thanksgiving. Thankful for the beautiful sunshine. Thankful that I could drive 2 hours and go to another state! (aside from the bridge….) Just thankful and happy to be where I have wanted to be. It was a wonderful holiday and I already can't wait until next year. Yeah, it was that good!

    I wound up not taking pics with my camera but we took a bunch with Billiejo's and I'll get some posted a little later.
    My mom has them and she is getting them to me today.

    🙂

  • Love / Loathe Tuesday….

    It's been too long since I've done this and I want to get back to it.

    Let's start with loathe…

    • Being too hot. I get super irritable when I am too hot.
    • My hair lately. Looks like crap. 
    • waiting….
    • missing my Alaska people.
    • birthdays when money is tight..it's been a card and no gift kind of year.
    • being late with cards for JR and DJ's birthday…and I know, try as I might, I"ll be late for Ann's and J's too. unreal.
    • falling asleep during football…what the HELL is up with that?? I am so not used to these late games…..lol.
    • needing to lose 20 pounds.

    Love:

    • that my sister and mommy went to Jaime's play last night.
    • The teachers telling me how fantastic my daughter is. Whoo-hooo!!
    • Seeing Jaime preform very well in front of a crowd. I hope this trait stays with her for a lifetime…..not being afraid to talk in front of a crowd or preform in a front of a crowd.
    • Sleep overs at my girlfriend's house!! I cannot WAIT for Saturday! lol
    • Holidays with my family.
    • Christmas!!!!
    • Waiting for the first snowfall….
    • that it's NOVEMBER 25th and it hasn't snowed yet!!!
    • That it's not pouring, sideways rain everytime I step outside.
    • sunshine.

    Jaime had her play last night and it went great!! 🙂
    I was super proud of her and my mommy and sister came and I brought Gabby with us, which was so awesome!
    I got some pics and I"ll try to get them up later.

    It's another crazy busy day……

  • weekend recap…

    Zak is upstairs reading to Thing 1 and Thing 2 and now is the only chance I'll get to sit down to blog. 🙂

    It was a good weekend.
    Gabby spent both Friday and Saturday and that was cool. I love when the girls have sleepovers.

    And as I anticipated…Friday was not a mellow night.
    It was fun, mind you…very fun, indeed….but not what one would call "mellow".
    I am actually adjusting a bit to the 2-2:30am Friday night bedtime and I still managed to get up at a decent time on Saturday. I needed a nap later, but I was functional all day. yay! On the ride home on Friday I had wanted to give Alaska Kim a call but it gets real easy to speed when you are talking on the phone and on Friday nights, the cops are just itching to pull you over on the back roads that I take home. So you really have to pay attention to your driving so you don't go 45 in a 40 mph zone. <rolling eyes> Because they will pull you over for that on a Friday night. And at 2am, I don't want to deal with the hassle of getting pulled over. ya know? For some reason it takes them like 20 friggin' minutes to run your information and, depending on the situation, write you a ticket and send you on your way. And I don't particularly feel like sitting on the side of the stupid road at 2am…..so, needless to say, I did not call Kim.

    But on Saturday morning, she called me! Yay!! So we got to talk for a bit and that was, as always, nice. 🙂

    Saturday I got a bunch of stuff done around the house and tried to fix my paypal stuff for my website.
    That was unsuccessful but I think I'll get it fixed Monday. I got a bunch of needed to get done stuff, done, around the house and that's always a good feeling. I went shopping with my sister and my mommy and then Shelly came over at around 8ish. We hung out and talked and then we went over to my sister's to see if she had any soda cause Shell wanted a soda and we didn't have any at my house.  We wound up hanging out over at my sister's for awhile with my sister, Rick, my mom and Zak came by for a few minutes. That was really fun and my mom was actually very nice to Shelly. My mom does not like nor has she ever liked Shelly. It's a long story and it has frustrated me for years. Like everyone on the planet, Shelly has made mistakes in her life…well, my mom being my mom has hung on to those mistakes for close to 20 years and won't accept the fact that people grow up and change and can actually be forgiven <gasp> for the mistakes of their youth. But my mom, over the years, has gotten to where she will be civil to Shelly. And Saturday, she was actually beyond civil, she was downright nice. So that was a cool feeling.

    And today was football and we WON. Whoo-hooo!!
    Could've lived without Matt Light punching someone in the head and getting ejected from the game….(the other guy got ejected too….) but we won!!
    Awesome!!!!
    We so needed to beat Miami after the humilating loss we suffered at their hands in the beginning of the season.

    And tonight is more football and I'm truly torn.
    I loathe the Chargers. Mostly it's just LT. I actually dig Philip Rivers. But I cannot STAND LT.  and a couple of the other guys on the team.
    But the Colts.
    I always want them to lose because they are rivals of my team. But I don't hate them the way I hate the Chargers and the Giants.
    I have no idea which team I want to lose more.
    Probably the Colts…..
    Or maybe the Chargers.
    See??
    Totally torn.
    Have no freakin' clue who the hell to root for or against.

    I'll just drink my beer, yell at my t.v. and hope for a good football game.

    Ooooh!!
    I figured something out today.
    I was on the phone with Zak and I was finding the station for football so I could put it on pause until Zak made it home. I found the channel and before I could press pause, the "football" music played a little. I did my little I'm so stinkin'' happy I could jump up and down giggle and Zak laughed at me and says "You are so funny…"
    In that second, a thought crossed my mind and I said to him…
    "That's it. I know what I want at my funeral when I die."
    Zak. "What's that, babe?"
    Me: "As my ashes are coming into the service, I want football music played."
    Zak: laughing says "Ahhh..no babe. You can't do that."
    Me. "Oh come on…wouldn't that make people laugh? Wouldn't that totally crack everyone up?"
    Zak: "yeah, I don't know babe…."
    Me: "Nope, I think it's awesome and that's what I want, you have to promise me you'll do that."
    Zak: blah, blah, blah…and he wouldn't say "I promise".

    Whatever. He's no fun. 

    We kind of left it at that, but I am telling everyone about it because I am so dead serious.
    If I die, when I should say..it's not like I think I'm immortal…..that is so what I want!!
    And there…now it is in writing.
    Would a blog entry hold up in court, you think?
    hmmm….  
     

  • realizations…

    Here is another song from Pink's new album that I wanted to post.
    At the time I first head it, I loved it and was very impressed with the lyrics.
    But now, suddenly, I am finding myself in this song…..

    Pink – Crystal Ball (Lyrics)

    Crystal Ball

    I'm drinking wine and thinking bliss
    is on the other side of this
    I just need a compass
    and a willing accomplice
    All my doubts that fill my head
    cascading up and down again
    up and down, around again
    down and up and round again

    Oh..I've..had..my..chances
    and I've taken them all
    to end up right back here on the floor
    to end up right back here on the floor

    pennies in a well, a million dollars
    in the fountain of a hotel, fortune teller that
    says maybe you won't go to hell
    but I'm not scared at all
    mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm
    the cracks in the crystal,
    the cracks in the crystal ball

    sometimes you think everything
    is wrapped inside a diamond ring
    Love just needs a witness
    and a little forgiveness
    and a halo of patience
    and a less sporadic pace.
    I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes

    Oh..I've felt..that..fire..and I..I've been burned
    but I wouldnt trade the pain for what I've learned
    i wouldnt trade the pain for what I've learned

    pennies in a well, a million dollars
    in the fountain of a hotel, fortune teller that
    says maybe you wont go to hell
    but im not scared at all
    mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm
    the cracks in the crystal,
    the cracks in the crystal ball

    Irony, Irony,
    is hating love, hating love
    for what its done to me, done to me
    done

    Pennies in a well a million dollars
    in the fountain of a hotel, broken mirrors
    and a black cats cold stare, walk under ladders
    on my way to hell, ill meet you there
    but im not scared at all
    mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm
    no im not scared at all
    of the cracks in the crystal,
    the cracks in the crystal ball

    Cool, huh?

    I've come to realize a few things in the past couple of weeks or so….this is gonna get deep, so you might want to bail now. If you keep reading, don't say I didn't warn you…..

    Over the years, I had somehow managed to convince myself that I was a pretty cool chick.
    And that people dug me. Really dug me.
    I am not perfect and I have never claimed to be, nor have I even ever wanted to be, for that matter. 
    But I believed that the good of me significantly outweighed the bad.

    When you realize that some of the people that you love the most, don't agree…..
    It's startling.
    And it takes a bit to sink in.
    and the realization comes over a period of time…..
    you think, "nah…of course they like me! What's not to like??"
    Then you stop to think about what's not to like…..
    and you realize that there's actually a lot.
    And then the sick to your stomach feeling comes….and the sob in the back of your throat….when it really hits you. 
    "Wow….they don't like me. They really don't like me."

    I'm not about to change who or what I am, at this point in my life.
    I don't not like me…..and most of the people that love me and I love, obviously like me just fine.

    But it doesn't hurt any less…..
    And if the problem lied with things I was doing….something that I could change….then yeah, I'd be all over that.
    But when the problem is….they just don't like you…all you are…..that's not so easy to fix, even if I wanted to.

    I could go on and on……