I was looking for a song on youtube and came across this video…
It's so cool and so part of why a Bon Jovi concert is such fun. You just never know when he's gonna do something like this…and you never know..someday it might be ME! Ha!
hey..a girl can dream, right???
since I've finished a lyric.
This doesn't have the correct format for a "lyric" really…but I'm always reluctant to call what I write poetry.
In the end, I always want what I write to become a song….but sometimes it comes out in a way that isn't really a lyrical format. oh well. If only I could write music….I know I could make this work…format be damned. LOL
I'm really happy with this…
I am PSYCHED!!!!
Enjoy!
For the record…this is not about Zak. lol.
Just had to throw that disclaimer in.
like you're on the verge of something….but you can't quite put your finger on it.
It's an unsettled, waiting breathless for the next moment kind of feeling….and you don't know if it's good or bad.
But you feel change coming…you feel something that is going to change your life is in your path.
And because you don't know if it's good or bad, you don't know if you should change your course.
If you should keep on going or veer frantically away….and if you do opt to veer….which way? Left or Right?
That's kind of where I'm at and have been for a little while.
I don't know what to make of it and I've tried to shrug it off, tried to ignore it.
But it's nagging and relentless and it's making me weary because it makes me feel on edge constantly. It makes me overthink things. It, quite frankly, is driving me fucking crazy.
Whatever "it" is, I wish it would just happen already…..you know?
The last time I felt like this, to this extent..nothing actually happened. Nothing that I could see, anyway.
So every once in awhile…my "gut" feeling, fails me…so I'm not even all that certain that what I'm feeling is "right".
all I can do is wait…..
Why I can't get this done on Tuesdays, is beyond me….
In my defense…the kids have been sick all week…and then there's the facebook thing….anyway, here we go….lol
Love:
Loathe:
I've been MIA for a few days…Ben has been super sick and I was trying to get crap done this weekend….
I cannot believe all the people that have been showing up on facebook lately!!!!
Get this…even ZAK made a facebook page!!! Whoo-hooo!!!!
I'm so excited for him….he's been finding some old high school football buddies.
I can't quite put my finger on why, exactly…but that makes me so disgustingly happy for him!!!
I'm seriously jumping up and down happy for him.
Maybe it's cause I know how much those guys meant to him…I don't know..
Maybe because it's a part of his life I have no connection to and I can't count on him to remember, so maybe I'm hoping to get to hear some fun high school stories or something…
I dunno…
I just know I'm super psyched!!!
Facebook ROCKS!
lol
Zak crashed last night cause he was just exhausted.
It was just me and the kids and it was actually a fun night. I made them a fort out of blankets in the living room and they had a blast playing in there. They brought some of their toys in there and Ben brought his portable dvd player in the fort and they both brought their video games. Ben his game boy and Jaime her DS lite.
It was cute and I let them stay up about 20-30 minutes late because they were having such fun.
🙂
So I take them up to bed and get them ready and Jaime comes back downtairs. She needs a cuddle…
I go up the stairs with her and we lay down in her bed and cuddle.
She's got her arm around me and she is saying stuff that is just melting my heart….stuff like…
"You are the best mommy for me in the whole wide world."
"I love you and daddy passed heaven!"
and the kicker…the one that made me want to remember the moment forever….she says to me…
"When we are all alone, just me, you, Daddy and Ben, I am so happy I feel like we are living in our own little land."
How sweet is that?
I look down at her and kiss her forehead and tell her…
"Me too, Jaime…me too."
Thanks to Kim, who I will be forever grateful for, I got to get my hair done…FINALLY!!!!
7 months!! That's the longest I've ever gone without getting my hair done, outside of pregnancy.
I am thrilled!
THANK YOU KIM!!!!!
You like??
LOL
A couple of days late again….it's just been crazy!!
Love:
Loathe:
I have to post pics of my hair and I have other stuff I want to blog about….but I have to tackle these stupid bills or I won't do it. ugh.
Around 9am this morning…
Zak and I are outside talking. This is our morning ritual. We get a coffee and go outside to watch me smoke.
We have the following exchange…
Zak: "What times is the game on?"
Me: "6pm, I think. Yeah…I'm pretty sure it's on at 6."
Zak: "You think?"
Me: "I'm 99.9% sure it's at 6pm, but I'll check at some point."
We go on to talk about other things and then go inside and go about our morning.
Around 11:30am, Zak is cooking Sunday breakfast (so awesome and me and the kids love it.) and he yells from the kitchen to me in the living room, at my computer, to check the game time.
So I stop what I am doing on the computer and go check the game.
"6 o'clock" I yell back to him.
I go back to doing my thing
.
A few minutes later, the absolutely fabulous breakfast my wonderful husband has cooked is ready and we sit down to eat. When we are done, I get up to do the breakfast dishes.
Zak helps with the dishes a little bit and then he goes and sits on the couch.
I am finishing up wiping down the counters and am making myself another coffee and he yells from the living room…
"The game is on at 6pm."
I stop dead in my tracks and I contemplate killing him for a moment and I opt for a better course of action.
Words. I will use my words, like a big girl.
I go to the doorway of the living room and look at him and say….
"Are you fucking serious? You made me stop what I was doing on the computer, look up the game time and tell you and then you still come here and check? Are you serious??" (Now remember I said I was going to use my words like a big girl and that means I get to use big girl words…eff word…totally appropriate in this situation…)
He looks back at me for what seemed like 5 minutes but was actually more like 15 seconds and simply says..
"I forgot."
Oh. my. God.
He forgot? I just told him 45 minutes ago what time the game started!!!! Why the hell did he ask if he wasn't going to remember the friggin' answer!!! ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Why I bother talking, I will never know.
I constantly have to repeat myself…constantly.
Because he forgets what I say.
It's like he's not listening….it's like he just wants to hear my voice but doesn't really want to comprehend what I'm saying.
Thank God he's so awesome in every other capacity….actually he's beyond awesome.
But when he does crap like this….grrrr!!!!
I used to think it was cute.
Over the years it got to be mildly annoying.
Now, almost 18 years into the relationship….
It's makes me crazy!!
But, such is life….I figure I have things that make him absolutely nuts too.
But man, if he's this bad now, I am really going to hate when he gets old and senile.
Or maybe by then I"ll be senile enough so I'll forget that it makes me crazy when he does that.
ha!
I think it's going to take me a long time to truly adjust to living back at home….I have a feeling there are going to be many more of these moments, over the next few years.
I saw this the other day and the first thing I thought was….hey! That's not me anymore!!!
7 months ago, I would've been one of those people that did not like where they lived!
Now I'm curious…where would people live if they could live anywhere.
Imagine you have kick ass jobs where ever you pick, but you can't bring your family with you. No teleporting people….Where would it be??
I know I'm finally right where I want to be….and I love it here. Absolutely love it.
1 hour drive away from the beach…an hour drive away from the mountains….40-45 minute drive from the city, Boston.
Love the change of seasons….love the east coast vibe….
I'm happy as a clam with where I live now…
Are you?
Anything But Gray 