Anything But Gray

Husbands are supposed to bug the shit out of wives. Everyone knows this. It's like the earth spins, the sun sets, I loathe the Giants and men irritate their wives.

Now some of them are much better at this than others.
My husband has a fantastic knack for it!

This exchange has happened more times in our relationship than I can count…

Zak spends hours trying to bug me. Doing stupid shit that he knows bugs the hell out of me.
I laugh at him, ignore him, don't let it bug me….whatever. And then finally I reach my limit and snap at him…I tell him to knock it the fuck off or something equally rude. He then gets mad at me.  I throw up my hands and say,

"Okay..let me get this straight…you spend all day trying to irritate the shit out of me. You have finally accomplished your goal, you have managed to irritate me so bad I want to shoot your big toe off. (a common threat of mine…lol )  And now YOU are mad at ME? You have GOT to be kidding me!!!" 

I have said that sentence at least 10 thousand times in our relationship. At. Least.

Now you are probably wondering…what could the the guy be doing that's that bad. 
Let me show you….

First a little information…..
I have a thing with my coffee cups. I am very, very sentimental about them. People have given them to me over the years and I honestly adore all of them. When I use any particular cup, I truly do think of the person who gave it to me. Truly. So my coffee cups are a big deal around here…

When Zak and I sit outside for morning coffee and chat…he is forever setting the cup he is using in a precarious spot. That he swears is completely safe and I swear is completely a death sentence for my cup. Places like on his knee or something…..whatever. I get stressed. Outwardly, it's mild…inside I am freaking out. I tell him to please stop. Just set the cup down on the table…like a normal fucking person, would you?? And of course, he doesn't. Because he LOVES to irritate me.

One morning, he sets my cup down like this…..(forgive the dirty table…it's an outside table. I can barely keep up with the inside! lol)

Coffee cup

 
People wonder why I drink….
LOL!