Anything But Gray

I'll give you three guesses who I'm talking about.

The boy.
My son.
Ben.
Yeah, him…..bet you didn't see that coming, huh?
LOL

So now I think we all as parents threaten our children with grave physical harm, at one point or another. Threats that sound social services investigation worthy but that we all know, the kids included, we won't carry out. It just feels good to say it. You with me?? I know most of you are….I also know some of you are not. I'd like to know what drugs you are taking and how do I get some?? Ha! Seriously…I know there are some parents out there that don't make these terrible threats and kudos to you. But that ain't me. At all. I'm a threaten kind of mom. And they knew it's just a threat…usually. I have a few that I use on a regular basis…I"m going to punch you in the head. I'm going to knock you into next week. And the ever favorite….I will break your face.  Now these sound terrible. I know. But I can count on one friggin' hand how many times I've actually disciplined these kids with physical means. Not that I'm against it, but it's just not an effective way to discipline our kids. Jaime, all you have to do is look at her and she shapes up. Ben, it just enrages him. It makes the situation a million times worse. It does not help at all. So for either kid, spanking has just never been the best way to handle them. So these kids know when I say I'm gonna knock them into next week. I'm not. They just know they have seriously pissed me off. LOL

So anyway…Jaime and Ben are bickering the other day. I'm at my computer, which is tucked into the back corner of the living room. behind a big chair in the living room. They are fighting…bickering..being obnoxious. Ben has run over to wher I am sitting and is standing beside me. Jaime is on the other side of the chair and now they are yelling back and forth at each other and Ben is seriously being so friggin' irratating. He keeps yelling "Stop" everytime Jaime tries to talk to him. That's maddening!! So finally Jaime has had enough, she comes stomping around the chair like she is going to beat his ass. (Like he totally deserves, but I can't let her do….) and when she gets close, I put up my finger into her face and make her stop and say "If you lay a finger on my son I will break your face, little girl."  So she stops and they just go back to bickering. I'm kind of staying out of it, just listening to see if maybe they can work it out themselves. When Jaime came stomping at him, he had crawled up into my lap to get away from her. So here Ben is, on my lap and they are fighting. Annoying, stupid fighting too. After about 10 minutes, Ben looks up at me and says…and I swear on my marriage this is true….

 "Mommy..will you give Jaime permission to hit me so you will break her face?"

and this little shit, MEANT it. He honestly meant it!!!
I couldn't believe it….I died laughing and told him…."yeah, no Ben…I'm not going to let Jaime do something she's not supposed to do just so I'll be mad at her…" and he procedes to pout! As if he had a chance of this really happening!!!
LOL

Now, I know it's not the best story I can come up with to talk about how smart my little guy is getting….but it IS funny as hell!!!!

He's so getting it!!!! LOL