Anything But Gray

Sometimes I feel like all the social networking sites are changing things….significantly changing things.
Like some people weren't intended to be a part of your "now" life, they were meant to remain in your past but because of the internet, here they are….in your "now" world….is that the way it's supposed to be??

Walk with me….let me explain…..

I had a very brief fling with a guy 20 years ago. It was a blink and you'll miss it type of relationship but it had a big impact on me. That brief fling really did effect me forever and I have always looked back on it, very fondly and have always wondered what happened to him. Some flings you have are truly unimportant and you can barely remember them. But some….some really play a pivotal role in the culmination of experiences of your life that make you, you.

This fling was one of them, for me. I learned a big, big life lesson in that brief time. I got a song that became huge in my life…(I can't tell you the song because it would be pretty easy to figure out which guy this is, just from this song…and I'd like to keep that private.) I always felt like I was having the time of my life whenever I was with him….
I learned something I should never do and I learned something I should always do.

It has always been, to me, one of those relationships that, when you look back, you just know you were destined to have. If you believe in karma and destiny and such things, which I do.

Now, the likelihood of ever seeing this guy again was slim to none and that's the way I believed it should be. I believed that I learned what I needed to learn from him, from the relationship, and that was that. It's funny too because as much as I enjoyed him, as much as I liked him, I do not remember being heartbroken or even that upset when it was "over". In fact, I can't even remember how it ended. And that is unlike me…I always remember the end. How else am I going to torture myself?? LOL Point being….I really believed he was someone that was meant to stay in my past.

Until I found him on facebook. I forget how….he must've been a friend of a friend.
So I added him and actually held my breath until he added me.
I have no idea what he remembers of "us" and I think I would've been a little sad if he declined me as a friend…
but he didn't…..and we've chatted a very little bit here and there. Nothing major and nothing about the past….
But it's nice that he's there. It's nice to be able to see how he's doing. It's nice to say hi.

But it does get me thinking…..was I really supposed to cross paths with him again? Wasn't he supposed to just be a part of my history? But there he is…so maybe I was supposed to "see" him again…maybe I need to be reminded of the things I learned from that relationship….or maybe it's all just chance. Simply chance and there is no destiny or karma or meant to be bullshit…which honestly, is where my mind goes. Very uncharacteristically. I am a destiny person, a fate person…I believe in karma and everything happens for a reason.

But I'm struggling with this one because I just can't believe karma accounted for technology!
If not for facebook, I would never have seen this guy again….
So facebook is part of my destiny now?
Really??

Yeah, it's a stretch….even for me.