Anything But Gray

I hate myspace….I really do.
Every time I ever went on there to look around, it drove me nuts.
But then tons of people I knew started getting them or I found out that they had one and I decided to make one because it is, in fact, a nice way to keep in touch…as crazy as it makes me.

But I got to liking it. I like messing with my profile, the graphics and crap. And I do a little blog there…just a lyric of the day type thing and it's very infrequent. I just don't have time, all the time. I started it because I miss my music, I miss pouring over lyrics and devouring every word and I miss writing, so I thought if I made a blog it would motivate me to listen more….and it does…sometimes.

ANYWAY….I have a profile on there and I can't change it.
It's written as if I live in Alaska still and I can't change it yet.
I don't know what the hell my deal is.
I also can't bring myself to change my time in my truck.
It's still on Alaska time.

Weird.

Is it the letting go?
Maybe somehow I think if I let go, I'm letting go of the people that I love, there?
Is it maybe, just maybe…..as much as I disliked Alaska, it is a part of me?
Did it take moving here to realize that?
To realize that no matter how much I wanted to leave Alaska….Alaska will never leave me?
It can't, if you think about it.
I met the love of my life, there. I had my children there.
I met women that had a profound impact on my soul.
I met my sister/best friend/ what-would-I-do-without-her friend, there.
I fell in love with my niece and nephew there.
I had some good times there.
Some damn good times…..
I grew up there.
I realized just how strong I am, there.
I could go on and on…

I'm realizing you can't spend 15 years in a place and not have a bond to it.
You just can't.

And yes, you can all say it, let's hear it in unison.
I told you so…..

Yes, you all did.
I didn't believe you.

You were right.