Anything But Gray

Yesterday I bought our plane tickets.

Zak and I were outside on the back porch and we were talking about the tickets and times and all that stuff.
He said something about how excited I'm going to be when I land.
And for a moment, I was overwhelmed.
I have spent so much time stressing about leaving here and leaving Ceci and my friends, that I haven't even thought of how I'm going to feel when I get there. How I'm going to feel when I step off the plane with my kids and walk out of the terminal to my sister waiting for me….
yeah….I know now why I haven't gone there.
It's too much. Even now, with things packed, tickets bought, truck rented…..I won't believe I'm really going home until I get on that plane in Seattle.

I haven wanted this for 17 years.
I have waited…sometimes patiently, sometimes not.
And I just can't believe it's really happening….