My day got much better. I called my friend Kim and I met up with her to go for a walk.
Wait a second….if it's through the woods and kind of muddy and hilly (is that a word?)..that counts as a hike, right?
I don't think Kim will let me call that a hike….She will so give me shit if try to pass that off as a hike. lol. Maybe I can call it a mini-hike?
ANYWAY….Kim has very much been my "go to" friend when I am on the verge of a mental breakdown. Her logic and calmness always settles me down. Not to say that my other friends aren't logical….but there are just certain times that I know I really need to hang out with Kim and talk. Today was one of those days and the mini-hike and conversation really, really helped.
Why was I so upset?
Moving….
Frankly, I'm scared out of my mind. I have spent almost my whole adult life here and as much as I have longed for the day when I get to leave, it's still a little bit (a lot a bit) scary. And for every part of me that is super excited there is equal parts of me that are heartbroken. I love my friends. I adore my friends. I appreciate them, I am grateful for them, I need them. It is going to be so hard to leave them. So hard.
Saturday "the girls" and I got together. Kim and Danielle are "the girls". We drank wine, (2 and a half bottles…oops! lol) ate good food, Danielle did our nails and we just talked while the kids played. It was SO nice. And I am going to miss Saturday afternoons like that.
Sunday, Ceci and Kayla came downstairs and they were going to get something to eat. Ceci tells me, get dressed, get the kids dressed, let's all go….Ben threw a fit and didn't want to go so Zak hung out with him while us girls went. it was cool, actually it was really cool because the power went out right when we were finished with our meal. I have never been in a place of business (not counting jobs…) when the power went out….so that was kind of neat. lol Anyway…little things like that, I am going to miss. Ceci's morning visits….hell, Ceci everything. I don't think I will ever be able to put into words how much I hate having to leave her. I could write a thousand poems, a million letters…and I could never express just how hard it's going to be.
I know there is so much I am getting back that I have missed for the last 17 years……and when I am excited and when I talk about how I can't wait….I so hope all "my" people here realize how very much I will miss them and that I absolutely hate that I have to give them up…
It's just not fair……
Anything But Gray 
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