Anything But Gray

10:40pm.
I sit at computer and am settling in for some itunes, browsing, reading and just unwinding.
shit, I think…need a beer.
Get up from chair, go to fridge, go for beer.
I see the beer.
Fuck, I think.
2. Only 2.
This is not good.
I have my beer drinking down to a science. I feel the first one, but it goes way too fast. The 2nd one is nice but it doesn't really do the job and it too, goes way too fast. 3rd one? Perfect. About a quarter way into it, I start feeling really nice and about half way through it, my head is sufficiently happy and I feel good. Senses are heightened, mind is relaxed, stress is relieved….I am happy there. I like it there. I typically nurse the rest of the beer and just enjoy being in my happy place. Now after the 3rd beer is gone, I turn into nympho. I luckily, (depending on your view) have a super charged sex drive. And once I get 3 beers in me…forget it. Think sex fiend on crack. (okay..maybe exaggerating slightly) And I've always been like this, it hasn't changed a bit since I started drinking at 16. My 3 beer buzz is legendary people. Fucking legendary. Seriously.
Now over the years as I've grown up and come to realize sleep has to come before sex (the horror in that realization is a whole other post…) sometimes. And I've realized that if I go to bed after having a few beers, I sleep really, really good. It's like it just relaxes everything….
Point being…everything about 3 beers is great. Fantastic. Awesome.
2 beers will not get me there.
Fuck….

How did I not notice I didn't have 3 beers left??
<sigh>

2 beers will have to do for tonight.
lol.

P.S. My name is Joanna and I am not an alcoholic.
P.P.S. I have no idea why not….by all statistics, personal history, personality and hereditary reasoning, I should be….
Don't know how I managed to side step that train wreck….but boy I'm glad I did!!!
ha!!