I am neglecting almost all of you….
I am sorry.
This quote isn't meant to make anyone feel like crap, it's more of a disclaimer…
I am honestly not trying to shut people out, so I nope no one is taking my utter neglect as such.
But I'm just not really up for "reaching out" either…
Great quote… sometimes it’s tough to knock something down too though especially when you’re trying to punch through the dark. Just a thought. Hope things get better for you.
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Hmm….honestly? The only response I have is, so get a flashlight. <shrugging> That’s just what I would do though, and
have done
five million times in my life for my friends and family, but I can’t speak for anyone else, nor do I want to. And honestly, it doesn’t even matter. I’m not sitting around waiting for someone to knock down my walls….it was an interesting quote and like I said…it was meant more as a disclaimer, I’m not meaning to shut anyone out….
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People are different Joanna. How we handle things is different. I see that you’re obviously angered by what I said and personally I don’t feel that what I would do is something worse than what you would do.
Here’s the thing, if I’m having a problem about something that I dont’ talk to people about. I dont’ tell them that I am having problems at all. Why tell someone you’re having issues over something you cannot be forthcoming about? To me that does not make sense.
I can’t force you to talk to me but from 3,000 miles away talk is all I have to offer. And since you “can’t” talk to me, what the hell am I supposed to do? I have a lot going on right now and spending time trying to figure out ways to knock down your proverbial wall is just too much on top of what I already have going on.
Like I said, Hope you feel better. I sincerely hope you get through this. And I think it’s sad that this silly little thing is blowing out of proportion over your misplaced anger.
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Wow….what the hell was that about?I wasn’t angry J. Not even a little. I don’t know what you are seeing??You offered a thought and I was just responding to that thought?I
know
you have enough going on and don’t have time to figure my shit out. I know that J. I have always known that. Do you remember I said I would be needing you, so expect me to call? But I haven’t? That’s me trying to figure it out myself. That’s me attempting to find a way to explain what’s up with me, without divulging things I’m not comfortable with. And then it’s me not wanting to dump on you…because you have enough going on. I specifically said I’m not sitting around waiting for someone to knock down my walls….??? Why say something is wrong when I can’t fully explain it?Because I’m not a good actress. I’m not a good liar.I can’t fake anything…J…I’m not angry and I wasn’t ever angry. I don’t know where your rant (lecture?) came from. And I’m sorry but I certainly don’t deserve thatYou may not have the time nor inclination to spend on my proverbial wall (which is
fine
!!) but I honestly don’t know why you would want to add another problem to it? I don’t get where the rant/lecture/whatever it was came from…??.
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Candy apple, anyone? Sorry, I just have too many goodies on my mind. When good friends are going through rough times it’s hard to not get angry or emotional because you care. I see two people here who care about each other and their friendship. One of you feels helpless and the other is just not ready to cave in to what she can’t put together yet. I’m just an outsider. But I do know that sometimes ones feelings have no one source or explanation because they are foreign. I’m sure once things start to make more sense you guys will be even better friends.
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I’m going to try and get my point across… I live far enough away that if you were really trying to figure things out by yourself without “dumping” on me, you wouldn’t have said anything at all. Here’s the thing, telling half the story does more harm than truly keeping it to yourself, ya know? And maybe I misread your post but I don’t think there is a nice way to say “get a flashlight”. That’s just me though.
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I truly appreciate the “outside” opinion.I don’t think we could ever get any “better” for each other, but after we bicker, I think we understand each other, better. We’ll see…..You assessment was pretty accurate!
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J….I didn’t realize how much I was being a burden to you.I’m not good at lying or hiding how I feel. You know that about me.I knew once I posted on my blog that I was having problems and taking a break, you’d wonder what was going on. That’s part of the reason for telling you “anything” when I couldn’t tell “everything”. The other part is, when I spoke to you about what was going on, as much as I could, I honestly was just looking for an ear, someone to listen and to maybe help me figure myself out. I was telling you as much as I
could
…I needed you. I wasn’t trying to “dump” on you and be a burden or another problem. I guess it’s selfish of me, but I honestly wasn’t thinking of how you would be effected by my problems or lack of communicating my problems to you. I was worried about me. And I do realize how frustrating this is..but even I didn’t fully understand what was wrong, I needed to have a firm grasp on it before I could even begin to explain it. It’s not a picnic for me, either.
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You’re not being a burden but do I worry when I
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I had this whole thing typed and it went wonky… You’re not being a burden but do I worry when I have half of a story? Yes. Do I fill in the blanks? Yes. Wouldn’t anybody? It’s normal to fill in the blanks to a story you have only half of about someone you truly care about Joanna. You are never a burden to me and I don’t think you’re sitting up there eating a bowl of cherries. I don’t expect you to think of me if you’re having a crises but you have to know how deeply I care for you and when you say something like you’re going through something big, that I’m going to worry. You can’t tell me if the situation were reversed that you wouldn’t think about it. If I told you, I’m going through something huge but it’s over something I don’t talk about with anyone, you wouldn’t think, “Huh, I hope everything is okay…” and worry about me. You have and you would. So why is it wrong that I’m worried about you especially when I don’t have any information to let me know it’s okay. I realize I can’t make you do anything Joanna and wherever this leads, I don’t know… but I care, I worry when you give me half of a story about something major in your life. I’m sorry if it makes me a bad person to say that I’d rather you didn’t tell me anything so I don’t worry as I have been.
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I have sat on this for days, unsure quite what to say…It doesn’t make you a bad person to rather not know anything than know half a story. I can understand that. Duly noted.It’s
extremely
rare that I am in this situation anyway, so it’s not as if anything is to be gained here. But in the rare case I find myself in this position again, I will know to not tell you anything unless I can divulge everything. I am truly sorry for worrying you to the point that you are upset with me.Obviously, I didn’t intend to create another problem for myself or for you.The last thing in the world I need or want is to be at odds with one of my best friends. I spent days thinking of how to say what I had to say and I still don’t feel like I got it right…
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I didn’t know you responded until I checked 2 days ago… if you click reply on my comment, it’ll alert me when you respond. I really have nothing more to say that would be different from anything I’ve already said.
Yeah it sucks that I got upset, I know you didn’t intend for me to get upset and I didn’t mean for it to get this big and completely out of hand. I don’t think our friendship should change over this nor do I want to lose you, but alone I have little control over both of those things.
Although your absence has left a void I so do not feel comfortable calling either… I don’t know WHAT to say… you know? I love you girl, a lot and I miss you. I hope things are okay and if you want to chat live, I’m here.I’d love to call I just don’t feel right doing it, like I’m invading the time you told me you’d need for you.
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Hey…Right back at you J….being at odds with one of my best friends has not been fun. Same thing here, until I was in a better frame of mind, I didn’t have much to offer.Things are much better. Much, much better and I will call this weekend.I miss you. Love you.BIG. lol.
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If we lived closer, this is such an I need a celebratory drink moment… ttyl. MUAH!
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Anything But Gray 
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