Anything But Gray

So I can't really get into this too much.
But I feel a little crappy. Just blah….resigned….why do I bother…..
I can't get into it because it's a general blah feeling, it's not aimed at anyone specific but I know it could be taken wrong so I'm just going to leave it vague.

There is something I am exceptionally good at. I take pride in it. I don't do this thing to get something back. I do it because it makes me feel good. I do it because I love the people I do it for. I do it because I know I put a smile on that person's face. I do it so people have "proof" they were thought of, even if just for a moment…

Now 99.9% of the time, I don't give this second thought, I don't ever do this to get it back.
But every once in awhile someone so blatantly and casually disregards (or just completely forgets which is even worse) this thing when it comes to me and/or my kids….and in very rare instances, it hurts.

It just feels crappy and makes me wonder why I bother doing it. And I wonder does anyone even friggin' care or notice? Would it even matter if I stopped doing it?

I just got stuck in this tailspin of blah today…it was a fantastic day, a really good day actually, but this blah thing, it's a really big deal to me and it just made my heart feel heavy all day.

I just need to sleep it off.
Good Night…